Before becoming a U.S. congressman – a job that requires your thoughts be edited by a battery of pollsters -- Jason Lewis was a conservative talk radio host, a job where you speak as if you live in a dumpster behind a muffler shop.
His task was to comfort an audience of aging men who, despite 2,000 years of ruling Earth, were certain the world conspired against them.
Needless to say, this mindset doesn’t do well with the ladies. And since the professional victim is not prone to self-examination, surely the ladies were to blame.
So the Woodbury Republican offered a daily dose of vitamins for their grievances, which listeners mounted like prized antlers on the walls of their man caves. He once lamented how he could no longer call women “sluts.”
Translation: What’s the point of being a man?
Since entering politics, Lewis has done his best to secret the tapes of his show. When you wax poetic about sluts, impending race wars, or equate gay marriage to rape, you risk losing the Sane People vote, a diminishing yet still formidable part of the electorate.
But the tapes keep trickling out. New ones revealed on Friday show Lewis complaining about sexual harassment laws – totally unfair! – indicating the congressman believes women to be a rather duplicitous species, prowling for easy cash while shivving man’s inalienable right to free speech and/or sexual predation.
The topic was pizza king Herman Cain’s 2012 presidential run. As head of a restaurant association, the candidate was accused of sexual misconduct by two employees. The matter was handled the way rich men handle such things: Cain called it a “witch hunt,” then paid the women to shut up and go away.
“As you know, I was a vociferous defender of Mr. Cain,” Lewis announced on his show, “…because I detest sexual harassment law.”
He goes on to question how taxing it can really be to throw a little perv action into the boss-subordinate dynamic.
“I don’t want to be callous here, but how traumatizing was it?” Lewis asked. “How many women at some point in their life have a man come on to them, place their hand on their shoulder or maybe even their thigh, kiss them, and they would rather not have it happen. But is that really something that’s going to be seared in your memory that you’ll need therapy for?”
To be fair, there probably aren’t many women hitting on Jason Lewis, so he was new to all this. And when you speak for the One True Aggrieved People, there’s bound to be resentment about women horning in on your turf.
Lewis went on to imply that groping should be protected by the 1st Amendment.
“Under the current statutory scheme -- the ridiculous nature of sexual harassment law-- you have no free speech in the workplace.”
He then compared the burden of The Aging Conservative, Ruler of the World, with the plight of black men in the Old South. Because they’re totally the same.
“You know , this is almost right out of To Kill a Mockingbird, where every black man is stereotyped as being some sexual troll. And therefore, if you really want to bring them down and reinvigorate the stereotype, you accused him of sexual transgression."
In Lewis’ mind, women are a conniving lot, hunting for quick coin from defenseless lechers. “We're talking about offensive speech being deemed offensive by someone who thinks they can shake down somebody for a lot of money and a settlement."
You have to admire this tour de force of victimhood. It takes no small talent to render a creeper as a Defender of the Constitution against the Pernicious Onslaught of Babery. And if he comes off as possessing a low view of women, well, that was just part of the gig. Or so he’s claimed in the past, saying the job required a provocateur.
Translation: I didn’t really mean what I was saying, an operating theory exquisitely suited for Congress.
But after the latest tapes surfaced, he returned to his favorite boogeyman: The Extremist Left. Never mind that the tapes were leaked to CNN by Michael Brodkorb, former deputy chairman of the Minnesota Republican Party. Never mind that simply quoting one’s own words falls somewhat short of high crimes.
“Good heavens,” Lewis tweeted, “is there nothing the left won’t do for power?”
It did not go well. But when you’re a star player in the American Victim League, the world always conspires against you. And it’s always so, so unfair.
Good heavens, is there nothing Jason Lewis wont do to try to hide what a misogynist sexist pig he is. Your own Words speak for themselves— LP (@CherGuevera) October 19, 2018