Friday, August 14, 2009 at 2:13 p.m.
I hate you, iPods. I hate you because you cause people pain.
Yes. I'm talking about what you do on the Greenway and all the other trails around the city. It's bunk.
You distract people from the world. Sure, maybe life inside a constant loop of Lady Ga-Ga is better than hearing young mothers gossiping about their yoga class while pushing a SUV-sized stroller... but the tunes you spew through your little white buds can cause people to crash.
On your left! Remember when that used to work? A cyclist coming up behind a rollerblader or jogger used it to announce themselves. It doesn't work anymore. People can't hear it. The iPods are too loud.
Ding! Ding! Ding! That little bike bell doesn't do shit anymore. The joggers keep jogging. The slow riders keep riding. You're left with a tiny space to pass. And you feel like a dick if your close-proximity-pass surprises them and they trip.*
(*sorry, tall runner with maroon shorts. But it's your own damn fault. I yelled. I rang the bell. Turn off your best of Jason Mraz compilation.)
Take out the iPods, people. You don't need Steve Jobs brainwashing you after work. And no amount of Kiss will make you run faster. As for the idea that music helps you burn more calories... how about passing on the cheese curds instead.
Just saying. You ride bicycles and rollerblade on the paths to avoid traffic. And wearing iPods on those trails turn into the one thing everyone wants to avoid...