Physical Characteristics: They're the Republicans who look like Democrats from a distance, but look like Civil War re-enactors up close.
Natural Habitat: Online meet-up groups.
Personal Disposition: Obsessive.
Evolutionary Purpose: To reduce the constitution to a shrill buzzword.
Place on the Food Chain: Somewhere between Deaniacs and Goldwater Girls.
Feeding Behavior: They subsist off the bunkum spewed by their master, Doctor Paul.
Mating Call: "Ron Paul is a great American and the author of this article is not."
Weapon of Choice: A hardbound copy of Atlas Shrugged to use as a bludgeon (both rhetorically and physically). Also, Google Alerts.
Your Best Defense: Ignore them. Your anger only makes them grow stronger.
Danger Level: Harmless. Their perverse individualism prevents them from mounting a formidable bid for the White House.
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