Parts of downtown Moorhead "destroyed" by rampaging herd of deer

Moorhead deer have resorted to suicide tactics in an effort to vandalize a local mall.
Moorhead deer have resorted to suicide tactics in an effort to vandalize a local mall.

On Saturday, WDAY TV news anchor Kelsey Roseth led the Fargo-Moorhead evening news with the following statement: "Parts of downtown Moorhead are destroyed when wandering deer ended up in the heart of the city."

Before you call FEMA, understand that Roseth's statement is somewhat preposterous: video footage suggests the rampaging deer broke a few windows and splattered some concrete with their own blood, but Hurricane Katrina it wasn't.

Still, it was a pretty bizarre spectacle. Said Moorhead police officer Josh Schroder: "This is one of the most interesting things I have seen since I have been up here, and I have been up here for seven years."

It's not clear what caused the deer to go on a kamikaze mission in downtown Moorhead. Schroder told WDAY he was downtown on an unrelated call when he noticed a group of about eight deer running across the US Bank parking lot toward the Moorhead Center mall.

The aftermath of Saturday's Moorhead mayhem.
The aftermath of Saturday's Moorhead mayhem.

Mayhem ensued when the deer reached the mall. Deer started smashing into windows and doors in the courtyard and across at the Scheels sporting goods store. They slammed into windows with such force that a mall worker who was on the complete opposite side of the mall said he could hear glass shattering. Schroder said he saw a deer slam into a nearby bus shelter and tried to restrain it as it struggled to get up. The deer ended up eluding Schroder's grasp, then ran into the street and was fatally struck by a van.

But rest assured, those of you worried the deer lost its life in vain. WDAY reports that the driver who smashed the deer "actually took it home and will turn it into a meal." 'Hey honey, I brought us home some roadkill for dinner!'

The damage, in total -- two deer dead, some blood-splattered sidewalks, numerous windows shattered. One carcass will be fed to wolves at a local zoo, the other fed to human beings.

Meanwhile, police officer Schroder and the rest of Moorhead are left to wonder why local deer have apparently adopted suicide tactics in an effort to vandalize the local mall.

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