Osseo High students boycott prom, plan boat cruise for all-night grinding
What do you do when your school bans grinding on the dance floor during prom? Boycott the event and invite all your friends on a boat cruise where you can emulate sex on the dance floor all night long. Heck yes. Teenage rebellion at its very best.
Osseo High School apparently sent out a list of rules for prom and one of them outright banned any form of dance resembling grinding. And if you know teenagers these days, it's pretty much the only dance they know how to do. Butt-on-crotch is where it's at. So if you ban it, you pretty much end all dancing at prom.
And girls have to wear prom dresses that go no higher than four inches above the knee. That includes the slit. In other words, your dress has to cover your lady bits and that makes prom way boring.
No worries, folks! Prom will be yawn-worthy and empty. The "bad" kids will be going buck-wild on the boat instead.
School administrators are a little concerned about the students planning their own shindig on the boat, but they are holding tight to their anti-grinding prom policy. Grind all you want on the boat, kids.
The boat prom will be monitored by 10 pro-grinding parent chaperones and 15 people from the cruise company. Drinking is prohibited and students have to sign a waiver with their parents making them responsible for any accidents or v-cards lost on the boat.
We have one request for the dudes: Please avoid anything that resembles Dick Slang, the latest YouTube dance sensation. Ladies will be jumping off the side of the boat in no time. Video NSFW!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.