Off Beat

Call Her Daddy and Beg for More

Late last month a customer-service worker at Twin Cities Public Television was charged with making terroristic threats in a series of e-mails to a viewer. The arrest occasioned brief stories in both Twin Cities dailies, stories that outlined the facts as stated in the criminal complaint filed by St. Paul police: The accused, Laura Moerke, a 23-year-old resident of Hudson, Wisconsin, allegedly signed her e-mails with the pseudonym Marge Hanson. The victim, Bob Held, had penned some terse messages that apparently set Moerke off. Both papers quoted portions of the e-mails Moerke sent from the return address [email protected], including the lines "It would be joyful to read your obituary!!!" and "If I had my way I would have you killed."

Moerke's e-mails contained some other stuff--stuff the dailies aren't comfortable printing. But we, of course, have no such compunction. Here's what the first e-mail, sent October 24, said, according to the complaint:

"You suck big time Mr. Jerk Bob--notice my email address fuckhead? Yeah, well watch out--reply for reasons why you are my number one asshole! Have a fucked up day shit head."

Later that day, according to the complaint, came this followup:

"Dear fucking Bob Held, are you too scared to reply to my e-mail? I just want you to know that I despise you. I think you are mean mother fucker who deserves to die. If I had my way I would have you killed. I know where you live your pathetic life and if I were you I would lock your doors at night. Sooner or later you will meet me in a dark alley and YOU WILL BE SORRY YOU ARE SUCH A NASTY FUCK--I WILL SHOVE A BROOMSTICK UP YOUR ASS AND MAKE YOU CALL ME DADDY AND BEG FOR MORE YOU MISERABLE LITTLE FUCK. Here is something to make you cum in your dirty undies."

Allegedly attached to that e-mail was "a rape fantasy story." But the St. Paul police didn't see fit to include the text of that. --By Mike Mosedale


Who's the Puke?

In the second installment of the Pioneer Press's weeklong examination of the life of Jesse Ventura, the paper managed to pin the wrestler-turned-governor on a question he'd long managed to sidestep. In the course of his military service, did he ever actually see combat? The short answer: No.

True to form, Ventura did not proffer this admission with much grace. When the interviewer pressed the governor on his infamous "hunting man" tirade against Star Tribune reporter Dennis Anderson, he let loose. "A puke like you couldn't make it through BUD/S," he governor spat, in reference to his own training in the navy's Underwater Demolition Team.

That exchange raises another question--albeit one a little less significant than the issue of Ventura's military service: Which of the three reporters credited on the story--Charles Laszewski, Jim Ragsdale, or Patrick Sweeney--is the puke?

"It was me," admits Laszewski. "It was an entertaining moment in the interview. I knew the moment he said it that it was a quote I wanted to tell everybody back in the newsroom." --By Mike Mosedale

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