Among the surliest, least verbal, and worst-dressed men in the United States, the New England Patriots coach is uniquely uncharismatic, more like a bullying high school gym coach than a titan of industry. On his team, all the positive emotions are farmed out to players like Tom Brady and Rob Grownkowski, as the multi-millionaire coach with the most Super Bowl victories of all time screws up his face into a perpetual scowl.
Yesterday, FOX cameras caught Belichick exhibiting some new traits. Turns out he's just about the only person who takes issue with Adam Thielen, the locally grown underdog made good.
Down 24-10 with eight minutes to go, Thielen's offense had just picked up a necessary first down. Belichick wanted to challenge the spot, but had managed to forget which sock had the challenge flag in it. In case you were wondering, Bill Belichick is "can no longer feel a beanbag pinned against his ankle" years old.
Thielen, whose offense was sort of in a hurry at precisely that moment, suspected Pats safety Patrick Chung had staged a timely "injury" from which to recover, and that Belichick used these extra seconds to make up his mind to peel up a sweatpant-leg and go digging in his socks.
Thielen took his problem to a professional intermediary, and in the most Minnesota way possible. "That's bullcrap," he told a referee.
Bill Belichick's repsonse was... more direct.
[Dear Adam Thielen: We at City Pages do not think you should shut the fuck up. You seem like a good guy... even about this very topic, you getting yelled at by Bill Belichick.]
""It was a close play that could have been reviewed. So for me, I just lost my emotions. I just thought the play was cheap. I wasn't directing it toward him. I just thought the play was cheap, but like I said, I let the emotions get the best of me because it's a smart football play if you are in that situation. Why not? It's not cheating because there's no rule against it from a guy going down. I don't know if he was hurt or not. He might have been hurt. That's fine. It is what it is. But like I said, just interesting timing for a guy to go down when it's a close play."
The score held, and Minnesota joined all four NFC North teams as losers on Sunday. Somehow, at 6-5-1, Minnesota's still in the running for a playoff spot; a strong close, one resulting in nine or 10 wins probably gets them over the bar.
As is nearly always the case, New England (9-3, as of this morning) look like potential Super Bowl contenders. Would a sixth Super Bowl victory make Bill Belichick seem any less miserable? Somehow we doubt this.
Dear Vikings fans: Do not be jealous of this team's success. Don't envy them. Despise them -- their dickish head coach most of all. Anyone who's beefing with the universally liked (and athletic!) Adam Thielen has another thing coming.
If I were Bill Belichick, I wouldn’t mess with @athielen19.— Sage Rosenfels (@SageRosenfels18) December 3, 2018
He lived in Mankato for 4 plus years. And survived.