MPR's Bob Collins thinks Denver is full of assholes
Minnesota Public Radio's curmudgeon-in-chief, Bob Collins, has soured on the good people of Denver. Also, he's afraid of prairie dogs.
Here's the blast Collins gets off at the rival metropolis:
Minneapolis-St. Paul, you can outdo these folks. A****** , from what I can tell, appears to be Denver's way of saying, "Hi there, welcome to the Mile High City." Drivers wait about 3 seconds when a red light turns green to honk.
The first of these sentences is easy enough to parse (and the absolute opposite of my experience here). The second, however, I had to read several times to be sure I understood. Collins is saying three seconds is an inappropriate and impolite time to wait before honking?
Three seconds? Three seconds is a long damn time. It's 30,000 times longer than Michael Phelps' length of victory for one of his gold medals. It's long enough to wait before rushing the passer (one-apple, two-apple, three-apple) in pickup three-on-three football games. And unless you're Ray Charles or a dog, it's long enough to tell when the light has changed from red to green.
Dogs are color-blind, you see.
As for the rest: Denver has seemed very prepared, enthused, and mostly excited to welcome visitors. Lots of volunteers are around, and have been generally eager to please.
Sure, I've encountered the occasional grumble -- mostly from people who live downtown and are miffed about the daily disruption to their routine -- but the bulk of residents I've met have been friendly bordering on effusive. "We're sure proud of our city," one clerk told me, "and we hope you enjoy your time here." One repeat national delegate who was at Boston's convention four years ago tells me that Denver's been more welcoming by far, and it's not close.
But then, I think prairie dogs are cute and non-threatening. So what do I know?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- A terrible Minneapolis park deal just got $2 million worse
Sat., Sep. 19, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 19, 7:00pm
Sun., Sep. 20, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 26, 2:30pm
- Why you should never run over a kid while flying a confederate flag
- Minnesota has eighth most expensive cigarettes