More Coleman allegations, Purity Boot Camp, and Miley dads

Those slacks aren't the only thing he's laundered

The lawsuit filed last year accusing Norm Coleman's buddy of trying to funnel cash to the then-senator has surfaced once again, this time with more evidence to back up the allegations.

Nasser Kazeminy, a close friend of Coleman's, was accused of sending $75,000 to the family through the workplace of Coleman's wife because he didn't think senators made enough money (another 25 grand allegedly never got through).

B.J. Thomas, the former chief financial officer of Deep Marine Technology, confirmed these allegations in a deposition last week. Kazeminy controls Deep Marine Technology in Texas.

Thomas said that the company paid $75,000 to insurance agency Hays Companies even though there was no evidence they received any consulting services.

The two lawsuits were filed just weeks before the November election. Kazeminy denied the allegations and Coleman's lawyers claimed the lawsuits were a dirty political trick by Al Franken's team.

In the deposition transcript, Thomas was asked, "In that conversation that you had with Mr. Kazeminy, did he tell you, quote, United States senators don't make shit, close quote? Or words to that effect?" He replied: "Yes, sir."

Army of one

We've heard of men being scared away from "sinful" activities like watching porn through intense religious programs, but this one takes things to a disturbing new level.

Men who can't get enough of the dirty videos and magazines get together, dress up as soldiers, and "battle" their addiction. Welcome to Purity Boot Camp with Jesus.

The program is called "Every Man's Battle for Sexual Purity," and 300 soldiers joined its army in the latest event. The dudes even put on camo outfits and dog tags.

At the end of the boot camp, the men are asked to place a white flag of surrender on Purity Hill. Shouldn't soldiers be winning the battle instead of surrendering? That sounds pretty weak.

Want to rid your life of porn, army-style? The next boot camp is May 2 at Evergreen Church in Bloomington. A-TEN-HUT!

Getting their goat

A clever goat probably thought she had hit the jackpot when she found a way to escape a South St. Paul meat-processing plant earlier this month. But her life came to an abrupt end when a South St. Paul police officer opened fire.

As you can imagine, residents are pissed. They say the goat was completely harmless and there was no need to murder it with a high-powered weapon in an area frequented by pedestrians, including young children.

To add insult to goat murder in the already enraged neighborhood, police didn't even hose down the slaughter site, leaving the bloody reminder behind to scare all other escaped goats. That'll learn 'em.

These officers are goat-murdering experts. They've killed two others in the past year: one stuck in a window well and another near the river. We're glad we can sleep safely at night, knowing police are keeping those goats off the street.

It's Miley! At MOA!

Is there anything better than creepy dads dressing as teen sex symbol Miley Cyrus to win prizes for their daughters? Thank you, Mall of America, for making all of our fantasies come true.

To celebrate the release of Hannah Montana: The Movie, MOA asked dads to enter the Mr. Montana Karaoke Contest. The hot dads dressed up like Montana, belted out tunes, and competed for prizes.

The contest showcased 15 dads singing Hannah Montana songs. "The dad who 'rocks out the show' will walk away as Mr. Montana," the MOA promised. The winner's daughter should have the option of joining the Witness Protection Program. 

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