MNGOP Senate candidate Vern Swedin brags about making 17-year-old girl cry at Starbucks [VIDEO]
Swedin says he made a teenage girl cry with a Starbucks stump speech.
MNGOP Senate District 24 candidate Vern Swedin thinks Democrats are rats, and likes to make teenage girls cry at Starbucks. Other than that, we're sure he's a great guy and a worthy successor to the impressive legacy left by Mike Parry, the outgoing District 24 Senator.
During a speech to a Republican crowd last week, Swedin shared an anecdote about his "first stump speech," which happened to occur in a southern Minnesota Starbucks. And it was so effective that it reduced his listener to tears.
Here's a transcript of Swedin's tale (via Bluestem Prairie), followed by the raw footage (the Starbucks anecdote begins just after 11:00):
When I first started to run, we had made a decision in January, and I was kind of excited about it, so I'm at the Starbucks here in town and these girls were ordering frappe latte foo-foos and 'Do you guys sell coffee too?' I don't know what they ordered but I'm just here for a cup of coffee.
And one of them looked at me and she had said something and I said, 'excuse me, did you say...'
'Are you Skye's dad?'--my daughter--'I am!'
'Are you running for senate? We'd just heard that.' And I said 'I am, I just made the decision.'
And she said, 'Are you a Republican or a Democrat?'
And I said, 'I am a Republican.'
I was shunned by a foo-foo latte frap drinker, but I knew very little about what that meant. So I said, 'Who's buying the drinks, are you all on your own, are you all going dutch on this?'
'Oh no, she's has all the money.' So this girl had all the money. She's like, 'I have a cash card, my parents give me an allowance, and I'm buying all the coffees and the frou-frou frappe lattes.'
And so I said, 'How much money goes on to you card every week?'
And she said, 'So i work part-time and I get an allowance, about $88 a week.'
I was like, "Wow, how old are you?'
She's 'I'm seventeen and I'll be a voter this fall.'
So I say, 'Let's imagine' and I grabbed her card, 'Let's imagine that your $88 dollars a week, and I reckon that you work pretty hard for that $88,' and she was proud, she works hard for her money, and I said, 'What if your mom and dad took... your debit card and put $15,000 of debt on your card for you every month. How would that make you feel?'
'$15,000, when you start equating a $1.5 trillion deficit and you start doing the math in homes in America and you start thinking about a 100 million households, 1.5 thousand, 15,000, that adds up, we'll put it on your card. You're going to pay for this, instead of Mom and Dad. How do you think that would work out for you?'
[Swedin starts to fake tears and sobbing] 'My mom and dad would never do that to me!'
I said, 'But they're Democrats.'
So that was me first stump speech and I did it at a Starbucks.
Although District 24 hasn't been represented by a Democratic senator in more than 40 years, Governor Mark Dayton was in Owatonna today for a meet and greet alongside DFL District 24 Senate candidate Vicki Jensen. In the words of Bluestem Prairie's Sally Jo Sorensen, Dayton's presence shows "the race is serious," so perhaps Swedin will have to content himself with those waterworks-inducing Starbucks stump speeches for the foreseeable future.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- Sketchy Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill empire crumbles
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sun., Oct. 18, 12:00pm
Fri., Oct. 23, 7:00pm
Sat., Oct. 24, 7:00pm
- Anti-abortion investigators' shocking revelation: U does research
- Top 5 Hate Mails of the Week: 'I can't believe Shitty Pages...'