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Minnesotans resort to bragging about weather to avoid deep depression

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Thursday's five most fascinating stories printed on wood pulp:

Minnesotans resort to bragging about weather to avoid committing suicide in frigid temps 
When it gets this cold in Minnesota, we have two choices: wallow in our terrible lives until we sink into a deep depression or freaking rock it and brag as if we are better than everyone because we can tough it out. While we brag, the rest of the country just laughs.

Red Lake allegedly man dumps pot of boiling grease, water and beef onto woman 
This story requires no explanation or comment: On Dec. 15, Oakgrove assaulted a woman by grabbing a pot of boiling water, grease and beef and dumping it on her head. He left saying, "I hope you die," according to the FBI affidavit. 

A former Twin Cities television reporter who was convicted of drunken driving has been sentenced to a year in jail and three years of probation. KMSP reporter Beth McDonough, 41, was arrested in November after she rear-ended a car on Interstate 394 and fled the scene. 

Gov. Tim Pawlenty will give his State of the State address today at noon, where we can all expect to hear how terrible screwed our state is. So screwed in fact that we've sunk low enough to share things with Wisconsin. 

Winter Carnival medallion hunting memories: