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Minnesotans have relatively little sexual stamina, study says

Minnesota's typical sexcapade is the shortest in the Midwest, the study concludes.
Minnesota's typical sexcapade is the shortest in the Midwest, the study concludes.

A pair of recent studies relating to sex haven't reflected well on the residents of the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

SEE ALSO: Coffee shop first date live-tweeted by City Pages blogger

The first, published a couple of months ago, concluded that Minnesota men have relatively small penises. [Insert joke about how I wasn't included in the sample here.] And now comes word that all ya'll have relatively little sexual stamina.

The sexual stamina study uses data from Spreadsheets, a mobile app that "monitors data from user's movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed," according to its website.

[

Insert another joke about how I haven't downloaded the Spreadsheets app.

]

"Find out how many thrusts per minute you're averaging, how long you go for, and exactly how loud it gets. Keep a record of your encounters, date, time, and performance," the site's FAQ continues, though the app "does not record or playback audio or video. That would be creepy."

Anyway, using data from 10,000 users, Spreadsheets broke down the relative stamina of each state, and it turns out Minnesota is home to a bunch of two-pump chumps. Here are the results:

1. New Mexico - (7:01)
2. West Virginia - (5:38)
3. Idaho - (5:11)
4. South Carolina - (4:48)
5. Missouri - (4:22)
6. Michigan -(4:14)
7. Utah - (3:55)
8. Oregon - (3:51)
9. Nebraska - (3:47)
10. Alabama - (3:38)
11. Delaware - (3:33)
12. Hawaii - (3:28)
13. Wisconsin - (3:22)
14. North Dakota - (3:18)
15. Arizona - (3:17)
16. Maryland - (3:15)
17. Mississippi - (3:10)
18. Rhode Island - (3:09)
19. Connecticut - (3:07)
20. Texas - (3:06)
21. New Hampshire - (3:04)
22. Wyoming - (3:03)
23. New York - (3:01)
24. Pennsylvania - (2:58)
25. Maine - (2:58)
26. Washington - (2:51)
27. Iowa - (2:50)
28. Illinois - (2:49)
29. North Carolina - (2:47)
30. Tennessee - (2:46)
31. Kansas - (2:38)
32. California - (2:38)
33. Massachusetts - (2:31)
34. Florida - (2:29)
35. New Jersey - (2:28)
36. Indiana - (2:26)
37. Virginia - (2:23)
38. Oklahoma - (2:21)
39. Colorado - (2:21)
40. Minnesota - (2:19)
41. Ohio - (2:18)
42. Louisiana - (2:17)
43. Kentucky - (2:14)
44. Arkansas - (2:08)
45. District of Columbia - (2:08)
46. Nevada - (2:07)
47. Georgia - (2:07)
48. Montana - (2:03)
49. Vermont - (1:48)
50. South Dakota - (1:30)
51. Alaska - (1:21)

It should be noted that the Spreadsheet data doesn't include time spent foreplaying, but still -- Minnesota men who are getting some apparently have to work on taking a deep breath, relaxing, and keeping in mind, even during the heat of passion, that love (making) is about the journey, not the destination.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at arupar@citypages.com.


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