Minnesotans are asking Google a stupid question


Google is the self-aware fool's best friend. Have a question you need answered, but you're too embarrassed to ask someone, even a close friend?

Google it. No one will know what you didn't know. 

No one except Google. Oh, and any business they sell it to, advertiser they share it with, or government agency that compels them to hand over your searches.

That's as individuals. Collectively, our data is out there for collection and analysis through Google Trends. The researchers (?) at Estately used that site to analyze what question web users in each state were seeking answers for most, relative to the searchers in other states. 

As always with these kind of studies, hardly any state comes off all that well here. On first glance, the questions being asked by Alaska ("How to smoke salmon?"), Vermont ("How to write a cover letter?"), and Oregon ("Who is Ammon Bundy?") seem to represent fairly respectable, legitimate curiosities. 

The same cannot be said of Kansas ("How to make meth?") or Oklahoma ("Is Obama Muslim?").


Ohio asked Google, "Is pot legal?", and Colorado offered a local answer, of sorts, by leading the country in asking "Where is Waldo?"

Here in Minnesota, our concerns are at least grammatical, and the kind of thing Google will indeed provide a decisive answer. That answer is "Dude, no." As Estately reports, we've been asking Google, "Is funner a word?" We have to hope this indicates that Minnesota has a huge number of young internet users out there, who have a natural curiosity about the potential expansions of their vocabularies. 

That said, our neighbors proved our standing on this study could be worse: The good, landlocked people of Iowa apparently have a tendency to ask Google, "Do penguins have knees?" Answer: You bet your sweet corn-fed ass they do!

In South Dakota, they're most likely to ask, "Why is my poop green?" Answer: Jesus, South Dakota go to the doctor. Maybe more of you should be Googling "Does South Dakota have doctors?"

For now we hope this important study leads to a spike in the most important question of all: What should I not Google so as to avoid embarrassing my entire state?