Minnesota Zoo tapir seeks SWF for companionship and coitus

My, what a big nose you have.

My, what a big nose you have.

Jon-hi is a young Malayan tapir and he's on a mission to mate at the Minnesota Zoo, relaxing in his pool, keeping his nose clean, getting in some exercise.

Zoo officials say that, like others of his persuasion, he's is ready to turn on the passionate cacophony of courtship anytime of year, wherever coitus is convenient.

And the zoo wants him to get down to business as soon as possible because he's a member of an endangered species.


To that end, they've lined up Bertie, a 7-year-old tapir born in Wisconsin, hoping she'll be the perfect mate.

The matchmakers haven't introduced the two yet; Jon-hi's just in from Omaha and he's still figuring out how the locals roll.

Also, he's more of a morning kind of tapir, while Bertie's a member of the crack-of-noon club. But with any luck they'll be showing some public displays of affection soon.