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Minnesota hates Wisconsin, loves Canada, and can't follow instructions

Matt Shirley's map peaks the cold, hard truth. Probably.

Matt Shirley's map peaks the cold, hard truth. Probably. Twitter/@mattsurely

This just in—we hate Wisconsin.

You knew that, of course. Dragging Wisconsin is a beloved Minnesota tradition, like hotdish, or apologizing. But now, thanks to an extremely informal Instagram poll by Matt Shirley, we have proof.

Shirley’s Instagram gimmick—the reason for the account’s 328,000 or so followers—is making charts. These colorful graphics have lovingly illustrated how to make a left turn, how to ask someone out, and, in this wonderfully specific pie chart, “WHY MY FACE IS RED.”

A couple of weeks ago, Shirley asked Instagram to name their state's least favorite state, and made this colorful graph to illustrate it. As you can see, Minnesota, proudly pink, claims the mantle of being the only state in America that hates Wisconsin. Meanwhile, Wisconsin hates Illinois, Illinois hates Indiana, and so on.

On Wednesday, we received an update: a new chart based on the states every state loves the most. It turns out, in spite of our hatred, Wisconsin adores us. So does Iowa. And both the Dakotas. We’re apparently surrounded by groupies.

Our favorite state, meanwhile, is “Canada.”

I mean, we all knew Minnesota was cold, but damn.

Be that as it may, Twin Cities Redditors could confirm the map’s accuracy.

“MN, the Chad of the Midwest,” one commenter mused.

“Like the one hot friend in a group of sixes,” another responded.

“I want Canada to adopt us,” a third added.

Maybe we’re not all that surprised our neighbors like us. After all, we're growing even as the Midwest is shrinking, and a lot of us tend to stick around our whole lives. But it’s a little jarring that when asked a simple question—what’s your favorite state besides yours?—Minnesota, the land of “nice,” couldn’t even manage to tell a benevolent lie.

Would it have been so hard to smile and say, “Alaska?”

It would seem in this entire nation, there is only one state truly on our level, and that’s New Jersey. According to the map, it doesn’t like any state.

Jersey, we feel you.

Canada, pls respond.