Fantasy football is an annual obsession for millions of Americans. NFL uber-fandom compels some to play in, like, nine different leagues with people they hardly know. For others, the allure is the shot at a lofty end-of-season payout.
But for a magnificent breed of football-loving degenerates, the appeal is something far greater than money or sport. It’s humiliating your friends.
On Friday an honorable man who is apparently terrible at fantasy football was forced to pay the piper. In what was likely a consequence of finishing last in his league, this man of great character and zero fantasy game took an Uptown walk of shame. Based on pictures some guy named Thomas supplied to Deadspin, the man strolled around the Lyn-Lake area wearing little more than a cardboard box reading “Fantasy football loser.”
Tailed by two bros presumably administering the punishment, the nearly naked fella is shown crossing the bustling intersection of Lyndale Avenue and Lake Street during the evening rush hour.
Sure, he may have the fantasy football acumen of a juice-drunk three-year-old. But the pride-swallowing competitor had the cojones to uphold his losing end of the bargain. The noble, anonymous man could have easily told his sadistic buddies to shove their meaningless fantasy league up their you-know-whats. But nah. That’s not how the True King of Fantasy Football rolls.
Instead, his butt cheeks will forever clench when his date begins a sentence “Wait, aren’t you the guy who…”