Looking to make $160 a week while actively trying to forget Jesus was a refugee who told people to love and forgive each other?
Craigslist has just the job for you! Posted last month by a "Small Christian ministry," the offer is looking for a "staffer/personal assistant/paralegal," and with that much rolled-up into one title, you can expect to be asked to do all kinds of stuff.
"Need assistance with email list, running errands, social media, meetings, correspond with clients, miscellaneous office work," the ad states, later mentioning you'll need to be "flexible re: type of tasks." (No kidding!)
The church doesn't give its name, but you can pretty well infer its philosophy based on the ad's last line:
In the cover letter, address your positions on the following issues: (1) President Trump; (2) pro-choice/pro-life; (3) immigration; and (4) gay rights legislation vs. 1 man 1 woman marriage.
Feel free to take a crack at it, but we have the feeling if your "positions" on Donald Trump are that he's a childish racist creep who looks bad in suits, lies about everything, and is functionally illiterate, your resume's going to the bottom of the pile.
[Psssst, hey, "small Christian ministry" people? Maybe if your interpretation of the gospel was a little more welcoming, you would be a "large Christian ministry." Just a thought.]
The ad was highlighted by local Twitter man Paul Merrill, who raised the question of whether this kind of screening is even legal.
Answer: Probably, yeah, they can. State employment law bans discrimination on the basis of sex, sexual orientation, race, disability, and religion, but religious organizations get a specific exemption in state law.
Under the statute, religious outfits can "based on religion or sexual orientation, when religion or sexual orientation shall be a bona fide occupational qualification for employment." In other words, if these secretary-less Trump lovers decide they need you to fear the gays the way they fear the gays, you probably can't fight them on that.
Remember: In Trump's America, it's white Christians who have it worst, the only real discrimination is against people who expose their bigotry, and hey, did you ever wonder if maybe the reasons we've made it this far as a civilization are rape and incest?
Jesus take the wheel and drive to Walmart, we're running low on envelopes and these mean-spirited letters to people whose grandkids won't visit them anymore aren't going to send themselves.