Milwaukee Brewers' missing sausage link returned to Wisconsin bar
Cancel the Amber Alert -- Guido (second from right) has been found.
Our long national nightmare is over -- Guido, the Klement's Racing Italian Sausage of Milwaukee Brewers fame, has been returned safe and sound a few days after he disappeared in a booze-fueled haze.
The $3,000 missing link was dropped off at TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg, Wisconsin under mysterious circumstances.
Two men - one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face - lugged the larger-than-life link into the bar just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, plopped him on a bar stool and warned staff, "You did not see anything," said bartender Jen Mohney.
"Like I didn't just see two guys plop a sausage on a bar stool," Mohney said.
Mohney said the two left in less than a minute and she immediately called police.
Cedarburg Detective Jeff Vahsholtz won't say whether police are hoping to press charges against whoever made off with the sausage and then took it barhopping, but c'mon -- let's hope Vahsholtz's department can find a better way to spend taxpayer dollars than that.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- A terrible Minneapolis park deal just got $2 million worse
Sat., Sep. 19, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 19, 7:00pm
Sun., Sep. 20, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 26, 2:30pm
- Why you should never run over a kid while flying a confederate flag
- Minnesota has eighth most expensive cigarettes