Mike Parry and Allen Quist are two of the craziest candidates in America, says BuzzFeed
We'll miss this race.
BELOW THE JUMP: THE CITY PAGES PARRY-QUIST PRIMARY DAY READER
Last Friday, BuzzFeed Politics compiled a list of the eight craziest candidates running for national office this year and surprise! Minnesota 1st District Republican U.S. House primary competitors Mike Parry and Allen Quist both make the list.
Today, after months of
gaffes building tensions, it comes to a boil. As hard as it may be to believe, in about 14 hours, one of the two will emerge "victorious," turn the page, and start preparing to square off against incumbent Tim Walz this November.
The reasons BuzzFeed gives for including Parry and Quist in the list have been well documented by City Pages, so instead of sharing their rationale, we'll direct you to the Parry-Quist Primary Day Reader at the bottom of the page. But for context, here are some quotes from the gems of American politics in the same crazy class as Parry and Quist.
-- Mark Clayton, Democratic candidate from U.S. Senate from Tennessee: "[The Federal Government] has created gigantic "Fusion Centers" for collecting information to hunt and track innocent Americans against our will; and mandates transexuals and homosexuals grabbing children in their stranger-danger zones in the name of airport security... We must craft legislation which gives American citizens streamlined and legally inexpensive "cause of action" protections against the Federal Government for secret personal spy attacks and groping or else Americans will be too poor to defend themselves from their own treacherous Congress."
-- Adam Hasner, state Rep. in Florida, now running for Congress as a Republican: "There has also been an infiltration of the conservative movement by stealth jihadists in this country."
-- Kyrsten Sinema, Democrat running for Congress in Arizona, on stay-at-home moms: "These women who act like staying at home, leeching off their husbands or boyfriends, and just cashing the checks is some sort of feminism because they're choosing to live that life. That's bullshit. I mean, what the fuck are we really talking about here?"
So yeah, Parry and Quist have run pretty entertaining campaigns. And to commemorate all the can't-make-it-up ridiculousness, here's the City Pages Parry-Quist Primary Reader, in chronological order from earliest to most recent:
WHAT A RACE IT'S BEEN, FOLKS!
-- Mike Parry, U.S. House candidate, suggests he'd keep troops deployed until economy improves
-- Michele Bachmann endorses Allen Quist for Congress
-- Mike Parry and Allen Quist battle it out for 23 ballots, neither wins GOP endorsement
-- Arne Carlson on GOP U.S. House candidate Allen Quist: He's "really bizarre"
-- Allen Quist under renewed fire for 'men are genetically predisposed to lead family' remark
-- Allen Quist flip-flops about his research in a Mankato "anonymous sodomy" adult bookstore
-- Mike Parry polling behind "Neither" two weeks before 1st District GOP primary
-- Mike Parry says Governor Dayton is a drug addict, pops "15 or 16 pills" during meetings [VIDEO]
-- Mike Parry doubles down on Governor Dayton pill-popper accusation: Top 10 tweets
-- Mike Parry falsely claims Faribault Daily News' endorsement; gets scolded by editor
-- Mike Parry laughed at during subcommittee hearing, told to "pop some pills!" [VIDEO]
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