Michele Bachmann's Stephen Hawking quotes are fake, people

The absurd Michele Bachmann quotes about Stephen Hawking you may have seen circulating around the internet are fake, her spokesman confirmed to us last night.

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No, Bachmann didn't really say Hawking's revised theory of black holes and his admission that a previous one is his "biggest blunder" underscores "the danger inherent in listening to scientists," as Andy Borowitz of the New Yorker wrote in a piece published on his blog yesterday.

Here's an excerpt from Borowitz's piece:
"Actually, Dr. Hawking, our biggest blunder as a society was ever listening to people like you," said Rep. Bachmann. "If black holes don't exist, then other things you scientists have been trying to foist on us probably don't either, like climate change and evolution."

Rep. Bachmann added that all the students who were forced to learn about black holes in college should now sue Dr. Hawking for a full refund. "Fortunately for me, I did not take any science classes in college," she said.

Bachmann's anti-Hawking comments seemed to be gaining traction on Capitol Hill, as seen from the statement by Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), Chairman of the House Science Committee, who said, "Going forward, members of the House Science Committee will do our best to avoid listening to scientists."
Though Borowitz's online bio makes clear his blog is satirical, some folks didn't get the memo, apparently:
-- Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 27, 2014 That's pretty sad. Equally unhappy, however, is the fact that the veracity of such quotes is subject to investigation in the first place.

-- Follow Aaron Rupar on Twitter at @atrupar. Got a tip? Drop him a line at [email protected]