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Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

See also:
— Michele Bachmann pledges to ban "all forms of pornography" 
— GOP platform's new anti-porn stance mirrors Bachmann's pledge

It's not exactly a secret that our beloved villain member of the House of Representatives Michele Bachmann hates porn. But after years of hearing Bachmann cry foul on the skindustry, the lady doth protest too much, wethinks!

In honor of the GOP finally getting onboard with Bachmann's anti-porn stance, we thought it would be fun to explore what might be her favorite political skin flicks. So far, to the best of our porn-scouring knowledge, no one has made a parody featuring Mrs. Crazy Eyes herself. But we think we know what it'd look like.

Without further ado - because really, the above was just the pizza delivery guy segue to the meaty post below - here are Michele Bachmann's favorite porn films:



Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

Anthony's Weener

Remember when it was a huge deal that New York Congressman Anthony Weiner sent out dick pics? Speaker of the House John Boehner makes an appearance, and you can rest assured that the classy folks making this flick didn't pronounce his name "Bay-ner."

Here's the quite NSFW trailer.


   
Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

Getting Levi's Johnson

This self-proclaimed "comedy of Alaskan proportions" follows Levi Johnson's short-lived trip to Hollywood to extend his 15 minutes of fame. His baby mama's mama, Serra Paylin, ends up appearing on Barry Swing Live with some good ol' Wasilla wisdom that "Hunters should just stick to hunting." Needless to say, Levi goes huntin' for bucks in the Golden State.

Here's the super NSFW trailer.

Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

Horat

Because who doesn't love fake representatives from fake countries? (Horat doesn't hail from Kazakhstan, but we give the filmmakers props for trying to make it sound hot.) The original Borat was pretty out there, but this one features a bikini-clad girl punishing a man in a bear suit, which we have no words for. To be honest, we're not sure how someone could get through the whole movie, what with the pseudo-Eastern European music and man-chanting, but hey, we're not judging.

Here's the very NSFW trailer.


   
Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

Arnold The Fornicator

Starring Arnold Schwartzenpecker, this chronicles the Governator's fall from grace after a few dalliances with his hired help. Sure, Schwartzenpecker doesn't quite roll off the tongue like say, Arnold the Sperminator, everyone's accents are a little off, and the acting isn't that great (check out 1:14 for a guy in the background wondering what the hell is going on)... but, well, no one is here for the script anyway.

Here's the (verbally) NSFW trailer.

Michele Bachmann's favorite porn movies that she doesn't want you to know about (NSFW)

Sex, Lies, and the President

In the thinly veiled land of America Silverland, President Clinton Freeman gets caught with his fingers in more than a few pies. You know where it goes from there. One reviewer said in their extensive dissertation on this fine piece of skinema that "It's really rare to watch a modern adult film where it's so obvious that everybody is having a great time." Kinda like the real Clinton administration!


 

Who's Nailin' Paylin

Ah, the piece de resistance of today's political porn. After four years of portraying Sarah Palin, Lisa Ann is still at it, and it doesn't look like she'll be stopping anytime soon. (At this rate, she could probably buy the Alaskan governorship, couldn't she?) Her fictional Palin (or Paylin) has been nailed by equally fictional Russian soldiers, Barack Obama, and even David Letterman while still finding time to make appearances in other places (see: RNC and Getting Levi's Johnson).

Here's the first minute of the movie.

Also on our shortlist for Bachmann porn faves: Vote for Rush, Here Cums the President, and Barrack's Presidential Briefs.

Lastly, why hasn't anyone hopped on the Paul Ryan porn bandwagon yet? Boy-next-door James Deen could be just the ticket. Get on it, Hustler!



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