Michele Bachmann wants to protect BP from being "fleeced"

Rep. Michele Bachmann, America's Dumbest Congresswoman, worries that the Gulf oil spill could turn into one big rip-off ... for BP.

Bachmann leapt to British Petroleum's fiscal defense at a Heritage Foundation luncheon yesterday, where she passed along advice to BP execs through Washington Post blogger David Weigel.

He quotes the utterly baffling Bachmann offering up one of her most twisted quotes yet:

"But if I was the head of BP, I would let the signal get out there -- 'We're not going to be chumps, and we're not going to be fleeced.' And they shouldn't be. They shouldn't have to be fleeced and make chumps to have to pay for perpetual unemployment and all the rest -- they've got to be legitimate claims."

Using a Bachmann-to-English translator, it appears the Minnesota Congresswoman is worried that shiftless layabouts might try to shake BP down for unemployment, on account of the oil company destroying the No. 1 and No. 2 industries in New Orleans simultaneously.

But she didn't stop the nonsense there. Bachmann also wants to shield BP from the mean words of Big Bad Barack, whose really been running them down lately in the media:

Bachmann Petroleum
Bachmann Petroleum

"The other thing we have to remember is that Obama loves to make evil whatever company it is that he wants to get more power from. He makes them evil, and what we've got to ask ourselves is: Do we really want to be paying $9 for a gallon of gas? Because that could be the final result of this."

Yet Bachmann earlier beseeched Barack to get his pirate on and commandeer boats and get the federal government involved.

So her views on this whole oil leak thing are getting a bit ... slippery.

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