Michele Bachmann, other Republican candidates won't say the word "Minnesota"
Michele Bachmann won't talk about us. Is it something we said?
Michele Bachmann will never forget where she came from. Wait, she's from Iowa, right?
A new analysis of the last handful of Republican debates shows that certain states keep coming up as a topic of conversation. Among the nine major Republican presidential candidates, each has proper name-dropped at least one individual state during their time on the mic.
In fact, some candidates can't stop talking about states. Rick Perry, for example, has trouble uttering words that are not "state," "of," or "Texas."
Sadly, Minnesota is not one of the states that they're talking about. At all. Not once.
Not even Michele Bachmann, who, back in 2009, used to be a congresswoman from here, and has since relocated to pretty much everywhere else.
The exhausitve analysis, as performed by Smart Politics researcher Eric Ostermeier, finds that 16 different states have come up during debates. Minnesota didn't make the cut, a rather stark reality considering some of the states that did: Indiana (mentioned two times), New Mexico (twice), Iowa (once) and Michigan, which was mentioned one time by gay sex pundit Rick Santorum.
That lone Iowa mention came, as you could guess, from Michele Bachmann, who was sort of from there once and seems to have reunited with the land of her origin.
The red spot on this map indicates the unpronounceable state.
Ostermeier's research, which began after Tim Pawlenty slinked out of the race and Rick Perry swashbuckled into it, finds a rather predictable common thread for references to individual states. In short, people like to talk about where they're from. Six candidates have talked, some more than others -- some a lot more than you'd think possible -- about the state they've represented politically.
Only three candidates are avoiding any discussion of where they're from. Newt Gingrich and Herman Cain, both Georgians, have failed to mention their home state, which might say just as much about Georgia as it does about Gingrich and Cain.
Joining them in regional shame is Michele Bachmann, who hasn't talked about It-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named for even a moment. She has mentioned Iowa one time, Arizona three times -- likely congratulating that state on its immigration warzone -- and Texas four times, in which she attacked Rick Perry's controversial anti-cancer stance.
In talking about Texas, Bachmann joins the rest of the candidates, who apparently cannot shut up about that state. Eight of the nine candidates have mentioned Texas at least once, and no-hoper Gary Johnson's exception is likely due to the fact that he's been asked not to speak directly into the microphone.
The leader in the clubhouse by a longshot is Rick Perry, who has said the word "Texas" an astonishing 83 times over just five debates. Quoting a typical Perry thought, Ostermeier catches the governor using the phrase, "state of Texas" three times -- in a single sentence.
Reached for comment about the study, Perry said, "Texas Texas, Texas state of Texas -- I mean, Texas, right?"
That Minnesota didn't make the list might mean that Barack Obama's 10-point margin over John McCain in 2008 makes Republicans think we're dead to them.
Well, fine. From now on, maybe we Minnesotans should give them a taste of their own medicine, and begin talking about what the guy from Massachusetts said about the one from Texas, and how the Iowa lady won't take our phone calls.
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