Michele Bachmann is the least popular person in Florida
Michele Bachmann didn't win the Florida Straw Poll... nor did she finish seventh.
Michele Bachmann shocked the political world with her win in the Ames Straw Poll, using her Iowa roots to seemingly wrest control of the race for the Republican presidential nomination from Mitt Romney. Since then, Texas Governor Rick Perry joined the race, and Michele Bachmann, spokeswoman for God, and Michele Bachmann, conspiracy theorist also joined the race.
And so, on Saturday, Bachmann did not win the Florida Straw Poll. Boy, oh boy, did she not win it.
In a state where she's spent some time, Bachmann came in fourth place... no, sorry, fifth... no, sorry, not that either. Well, at least she beat Jon Hunstsmaan. Wait, what? She didn't? Everyone beats Jon Hunstmaan!
Well, let's put this as nicely as possible: Bachmann beat out every person who is not running for president -- and lost to everyone who is.
This time, it was Herman Cain's turn to upset the political current, winning in a landslide, with 37 percent of the vote. Next came Rick Perry and Mitt Romney, the two front-runner Republican choices who've been battling for headlines and donations.
Then came everyone else.
Bachmann was only about 35 percent away from winning.
Yes, that's right, Bachmann finished absolutely, positively dead last in the straw poll. Michele pulled in only 1.5 percent -- or, out of around 3,500 voters, something like 50 people in the entire state of Florida felt like writing down her name.
Going into the weekend, Bachmann sounded confident that her low poll numbers of late would be redeemed in the Florida Straw Poll, pointing out on the CBS Early Show on Friday that there had "only been one true vote so far," referring to her Ames win.
Well, now there's been two. And this one couldn't have gone worse for the best woman Minnesota's Sixth District has to offer.
Here, via the National Journal, are the full results of the Florida Straw Poll. Go easy on your mouse as you edge yourself all the way down to Bachmann's terrible, terrible total.
HERMAN CAIN 37.11 percent
RICK PERRY 15.43 percent
MITT ROMNEY 14 percent
RICK SANTORUM 10.88 percent
RON PAUL 10.39 percent
NEWT GINGRICH 8.43 percent
JON HUNTSMAN 2.26 percent
MICHELE BACHMANN 1.51 percent
One-and-a-half percent is really, really great on a mortgage. It's just fine for milk. But when measuring beer and presidential campaigns... really, you're just wasting your time.
Michele Bachmann: God sent Hurricane Irene to carry me to the White House
Michele Bachmann claims HPV vaccine made woman's daughter mentally retarded [VIDEO]
Michele Bachmann takes the lead in national poll
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- Glenville kids have been harassing an elderly woman for decades
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sun., Oct. 18, 12:00pm
Fri., Oct. 23, 7:00pm
Sat., Oct. 24, 7:00pm
- Black Lives Matter races cops to the Twin Cities Marathon, protests peacefully
- Michael Casey's "You Matter" movement turns depression to positivity