Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump need your phone number [UPDATE]

Michele Bachmann, Donald Trump: Maybe you guys should just text each other.
Michele Bachmann, Donald Trump: Maybe you guys should just text each other.

Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump are finally ready to make your nightmares come true. If you have some free time tonight, and are trying to get rid of those last shards of dignity, you can listen to Michele and the Donald have a conversation on the phone tonight.

City Pages cannot promise that Trump will take this opportunity to tell Bachmann, "You're fired." But, given their equally self-destructive records of talking off the cuff, there's really no predicting where this thing will go.

Bachmann announced hers and Trump's "tele-townhall" in an e-mail that went out last night, promising that the two of them will discuss "the state of the race," by which we assume they mean white people.

UPDATE: Trump didn't even know about the tele-townhall until... someone told him about it on national television.

Bachmann's e-mail explains that tonight's phone event is an "incredible opportunity" to "hear from a businessman who knows firsthand that Barack Obama's failed policies are crippling our nation's job creators."

The telephone makes Michele happy.
The telephone makes Michele happy.

Yes, what an opportunity. It seems that, with a bit of coaxing from Bachmann, Trump is finally ready to voice his opinions out loud. Maybe this is something of a turning point, and we'll begin to see Trump appearing on television, where the famously shy entrepreneur can shed a little light on his inner-most feelings about male pattern baldness.

Bachmann's advertising e-mail seems to have been generated by some kind of computer program: Three different times, it offers up the link to sign up for her exciting tele-townhall with Donald Trump, which if you'd like to sign up you can just click here to register for her exciting tele-townhall with Donald Trump.

Then, it signs off with this helpful, hopeful note:

P.S. I hope you will join Donald Trump and me for an exclusive conference call on Monday night. Click here to register. We're both looking forward to discussing the need to retire Barack Obama, and I'm eager for your input and questions on my campaign's strategic vision.

So, if you've wanted to give Michele Bachmann campaign advice, now's your chance. For example, if you wanted to tell her to avoid appearing in public with the least-liked phony, jerky blowhard in American pop culture, you could tell her that, over the phone, tonight, during her tele-townhall with Donald Trump.

UPDATE: Apparently, in her rush to tell everyone about the tele-townhall, she forgot to tell just one guy. Oh, right, Donald Trump.

In an interview this morning on Fox and Friends, Trump was asked about tonight's planned phone call event, and expressed both confidence that it would be a success -- along with total surprise that it was even going on, according to the Hill.

"I didn't even know it was going on 'til you told me," Trump said. "But that's OK."

Is it? You're kind of the selling point of this whole tele-townhall, and you didn't even know about it, and that's "OK"?  Is this how Trump's calendar normally runs, with him learning about his own events only when someone tries to quote him on the record to promote it?

All right, in any event, Trump, you're a salesman. So sell! Spin, deny, recover, promote, self-promote... and voila!

"I think it's fine and you'll have lots of people calling in, and I look forward to it," Trump said. "It's my honor to do it."

That's great to hear, Mr. Trump. Oh, also, you said one time you'd be honored to buy lunch for City Pages, remember? Well, anyway, today's the day.

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