According to the FBI affidavit on Mason Seckar of Oshkosh, he apparently loves nothing better than to taunt cops in Florida and Minnesota with bullshit crank calls.
He leaves a reader with the impression that he may have an unhealthy obsession with little girls.
And he's not smart enough to cover his tracks. The FBI raided his home after some standard cyber-gumshoe work, tracking him through Skype and his Yahoo e-mail account.[jump]
The FBI thinks he's responsible for about 180 crank calls to the St. John's County, Florida, Sheriff's Office in January. Some samples of Sekor's alleged handiwork:
Claiming to be riding in a green Chevy on I-95, he calls the dispatcher to report that his "daughter" isn't breathing. Police, fire trucks, medics scramble. He plays along with instructions for CPR. The "daughter" starts breathing again, he says. Police find no trace of the green Chevy on the Interstate.
On another call, he again says he's in the green Chevy on I-95. "My little girl is puking," he says. When asked, he claims his car has Minnesota plates. But then he says his middle name is "this is a stupid asshole" and "I love little white girls" and I have a gun" and "I'm going to kill you all." The dispatcher's supervisor cuts off the call.
Then SJSO hears from "Tom Michaels," who says he wants to be arrested, claiming to be calling from the restroom of a St. Augustine McDonald's with his 5-year-old girlfriend, Alana. She's too nervous to talk with dispatcher, he says. Seven deputies responded to eight different McDonald's in the area. There's no sign of the man or the girl.
According to the affidavit, posted at The Smoking Gun, the Rice County Sheriff's Office found itself pulled into a bizarre three-way phone conversation.
In another call to Rice County deputies, he said he wanted to be a school teacher, but was worried that he would "make inappropriate advances toward the young girls."
On other occasions he said he wanted to become a police officer and "wanted to know what it felt like to be 'tased," and he said that "he was interested in airplane aerobatics" -- the FBI figured out that Seckar is the creator/administrator of a Facebook page devoted to AirVenture, an annual Oshkosh air show featuring numerous aerobatic teams.
The game was over on March 21 when the FBI got a search warrant and raided the 20-year-old man's home in Oshkosh.