Marcus Bachmann: Gay or Straight?
Now that Michele Bachmann is being taken seriously as a GOP presidential candidate, national scrutiny has begun to focus on her husband Marcus.
Specifically: Is this dude gay or what?
Marcus set off Cher's gaydar last week and before long #MarcusBachmannissogay was a trending topic on Twitter.
So is Marcus Bachmann a gay man who can't find his way out of the closet? Or is he really as manly as the First Dude Todd Palin, who has been known to hunt animals and ride a snow mobile, never while lisping.
Let's take a close look at the evidence.
The Case in Favor: Evidence Marcus Bachmann is gay
He's married to Michele Bachmann. Michele has a long, long history of living comfortably with lies. If Marcus wanted to live in the closet, he'd be hardpressed to find someone better at prolonged self-deception than Congresswoman Bachmann.
|This video sure seems gay--not that there's anything wrong with that|
Marcus runs a faith-based clinic that helps "ungay" clients
. His Bachmann & Associates clinic has been counseling self-hating homos for more than two decades. Why would a straight man want to spend so much time talking to gay men about their sex lives? Unless he was living vicariously ...?
The video evidence. Cher and others who question Dr. Bachmann's sexuality point to this video of Marcus mincing, lisping and generally flitting about like a one-man gay stereotype. If you haven't seen Marcus in action, take a look and see if it sets off your gaydar.
The Case Against: Evidence Marcus Bachmann is straight
He's married to Michele Bachmann. Even Michele's most ardent opponent admit she's a MILF. Indeed, she and Marcus have five kids, which means Marcus presumably had sex with her. Man having sex with a woman = heterosexual.
He runs a faith-based clinic that helps "ungay" clients. Why would a gay man spend so much time thinning the heard of potential gay men to hook up with? This is Stillwater we're talking about, so it's not as simple as going to the local Gay 90's for a covert hook-up.
He called gay people "barbarians." To oppose gay marriage these days seems outdated. But referring to gays as "barbarians" who "must be disciplined" takes Dr. Bachmann to another level of intolerance. Or maybe it's just his weird gay role-playing fantasy.
With so much evidence going either way, the jury is still out. So we called the Bachmann campaign for comment to clarify once and for all if Marcus is gay or straight.
The campaign has not yet returned our phone call, but when we hear definitive word we will update this post with Marcus Bachmann's true sexual orientation.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- John Kline once again fights against workers' rights
Sat., Sep. 19, 12:00am
Sat., Sep. 19, 7:00pm
Sun., Sep. 20, 12:00pm
Sat., Sep. 26, 2:30pm
- Black Lives Matter shuts down the governor’s neighborhood, reveals new police...
- Vikings demand "positive promotion" in exchange for cheerleader interview