Local liberals attend surrender party at the library last week

Nearly 100 pro-Constitution radicals were on hand at the Minneapolis Central Library on June 14 to witness a pair of Minneapolis attorneys spout their anti-torture propaganda. During the hour-long discussion "The Guantanamo Bay Challenge: Finding the Balance Between Our Nation's Security & Our Nation's Ideals," James Dorsey and Nicole Moen succeeded in undermining America's War on Terror by raising questions about Guantanamo interrogation tactics, thus emboldening the Enemy.

The duo—who practice at Fredrickson and Byron—described their on-going experiences representing Ahcene Zemiri, a 39-year-old Algerian man who has been detained in Guantanamo Bay since April 2002.

"Most [of the detainees] had been tortured or abused and were not well psychologically," said Moen, who acts as an Arabic translator in addition to her legal duties.

According to Dorsey, "enhanced interrogation techniques" devised by psychologists and behavioral scientists in Guantanamo include shackling the evildoers into uncomfortable squatting positions for hours on end in addition to dismantling their faith by having women approach them in inappropriate ways on their way to prayer and cutting off bathing water before splashing them with what they are told is menstrual blood.

Moen demonstrated a shameless bias in favor of due process when she implicitly suggested that habeaus corpus—the common law-era writ which guarantees prisoners the right to know the charges filed against them—is somehow an essential component of justice, individual liberty, legal rights, and other hippie buzzwords.

She went on to underhandedly disparage the Military Commission Act of 2006 for doing away with the aforesaid writ, going on to say that her client "has not been charged with anything." This, despite the fact that Zemiri has long admitted to practicing Islam.