The very rich are different from the rest of us.
They have more money.
And they get things for free.
There are a lot of Super Bowl-related issues a Twin Cities resident (or mindful football tourist) could worry about. The displacement of the homeless, the interruption of some public services, and the overwhelming of others. Eagles fans getting their tongues stuck on frozen objects.
Faced by the one crisis hardly anyone's thinking about, Life Time, the Twin Cities-based chain of gyms, has gallantly come to the rescue. The corporation "is opening its Twin Cities facilities free of charge to select VIPs in town during the week of the Super Bowl," the Business Journal reports.
Oh, thank God. We can all sleep better knowing that Jennifer Lopez and the Florida Georgia Line guys will not experience a disruption in their fitness regimes just because they had to fly to Minneapolis to make a ton of money and go to Super Bowl parties.
Life Time (formerly Life Time Fitness, now apparently named for old magazines) made the offer to the members of the Super Bowl Host Committee, a group which includes UnitedHealth, Cargill, Target, 3M, U.S. Bank, and other artful tax-dodgers.
According to a spokesman, Life Time's "personal invitations to our partners, along with any of their special guests," means if Delta Air Lines or the Mall of America wants to enable a celebrity's pilates habit, all they have to do is ask.
These offers include "private fitness classes, spa treatments, meal services, private basketball and volleyball courts, workspaces and shuttle services." Depending on which service is being taken advantage of, Life Time reserves the right to "request" this VIP pay a "fee."
On its website, Life Time encourages members: "Love your life in bold new ways," it says. And: "Laugh more. Do it all here," with "it all" being an obvious reference to your once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see Gwen Stefani on a treadmill.
"More than a workout," Life Time brags. And they're right. It's also an act of charity. One reserved only for people who don't need it.