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Let's vote: Super America or Speedway? [POLL]

Speedway or Super America: Which is the superior name for a regional gas station chain?

Speedway or Super America: Which is the superior name for a regional gas station chain? Jeff Wheeler, Star Tribune

Minnesotans are really into representative democracy. Like, uniquely so.

Let's exercise our rights again. Just because there won't be another statewide election until November 2020 (presuming the planet lasts that long; odds are less favorable by the day) doesn't mean we don't still have strongly held beliefs and opinions.

The most under-covered scandal of the year is... probably any of 10 or 15 things Donald Trump and his crooked children and associates have done.

But surely the second-most under-covered scandal is the swift rebrand of Super America gas stations to something called "Speedway." The new name's a disturbing reference for anyone who thinks drivers on the roads are already driving plenty fast, and maybe don't need to be encouraged to punch the gas any harder, thanks.

The name change comes as the result of an acquisition of the local chain by Marathon Petroleum (not to be confused with Marathon Oil, evidently), a splinter company of John Rockefeller's one-time Standard Oil monopoly. These days, Marathon's barely scraping by on about $3.5 billion net income per year, with something along the lines of a measly $50 billion in assets in its possession. Sad!

Marathon Petroleum scooped up Super America, and its 285 stores and 2,000 employees, for about $23 billion, per the Star Tribune, thus ending a regional operation started by Elmer Erickson with a single gas station in St. Paul, way back in 1960. 

Anyway, Super America is objectively the better name -- don't you want America to be "Super"?; wouldn't that be better than someone prattling on about us being "great again"? -- but reader, you are free to be wrong about this, if you want. Vote on this Important Matter below.

And while we're on the subject: Mergers that eliminate one already-large business chain and let it be consumed by another are, in general, quite bad, unless you're the CEO or "vice president" of the now-even-bigger-corporation. But you're probably not, or if you are, you probably don't vote in online polls because you're too busy signing checks to corrupt a politician or two, or 55, or however that math works for you.

Let's make America super again -- or for once, or whatever.

What's the better name for a gas station?
Super America
Speedway
I don't know
I don't care
I'm confused
I need more time to think it over
Wait, what's happening?
 
 
 
 
 
 
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