Let's talk about it over a Lynx burger
"Hey, game warden."
"What's that over by your fireplace?"
"Right over there. The thing that looks like a big mutant cat, but stuffed."
"That's not an endangered Canada lynx, is it?
" ... no ... idea why you stopped by my house this morning! Such a lovely day, shouldn't you be outside? Enjoying the woodland habitats?"
"Well, I saw this ad on a taxidermy Web site for animal pelts. Thought I'd see if that thing that looked like a lynx was, you know, a lynx."
"William Shakespeare said a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
"So does it really matter what name we call things? You say 'critically endangered lynx,' I say 'fuzzy footstool with ears.'"
"That is a lynx, isn't it?"
"If by 'lynx' you mean 'imperiled animal that University of Minnesota Duluth researchers had been tracking before it wound up stuffed in my house as a taxidermy project,' then I suppose you could say it's a lynx, yeah."
"You know you'll get probation for this. Two years probation."
"A small price to pay for my silent protest against non-stuffed species. Let my people go."
"Think I'll take the stuffed lynx first, thanks."
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