The single best use of Facebook has emerged like a warming sun appearing on the horizon.
And it is: Making weird-ass memes about sneaking into a neighboring state and stealing their most iconic thing.
Last night at midnight, according to Facebook, that was supposed to mean tip-toeing into Iowa and stealing all of their corn. Current news reports cannot confirm if this happened.
You laugh at Iowa's fate at your own peril, Minnesota, for it seems we are next. Numerous Facebook events have been launched, all of them hellbent on creeping into Minnesota while we aren't paying attention and stealing all the water from our lakes.
Forensic sociologists will no doubt spend a decade or two trying to figure out just what the fuck's been going on this past week or so. But here's how it seems to work: Someone launches an initial joke about the late-night theft of an entire state's resources. Like this.
City Pages reached out to one of the administrators of that page, who reported that the idea was hatched by someone who is "very goofy." Indeed.
And then! Someone else responds by creating an event that would prevent the theft of Minnesota's lakes. Like this.
Lukas Peterson, the guy behind that event, explains that he "knew the idea had to be dumb for people to hop on board, and weighing lakes down with rocks was the first thing to come to mind."
(And congratulations, Lukas. This rock thing is delightfully dumb.)
The plot thickens at this point, because now people begin racing to launch newer and more insane events, each of them dedicated toward either stopping the thieves, or stopping the people who are trying to stop the thieves.
Each event should, naturally, be planned at least a day in advance of the event it is responding to. It's going to take at least a full day's work to, for example, replace all of Minnesota's rocks with fake rocks -- so that they're not heavy enough to weigh down our lakes, which are under threat of theft. (Obviously.)
Some more examples, gathered here in a single post from Monday which has been shared 6,600 times.
We don't know what more we can say about this, except that these events keep appearing, and at this point tens of thousands of people are involved, and that this is probably the strangest and best thing happening that involves computers.
Stop going to work. Cancel your plans. Do not stray from your computer or phone. Stay up late at night and wake up early in the morning. Do your part.
The fate of Minnesota's lakes depends on it.