Kwik Trip voted the best gas station bathrooms in Minnesota

If the restroom is a museum of exotic stench, you can call the owner directly. His number is posted in the wall.

If the restroom is a museum of exotic stench, you can call the owner directly. His number is posted in the wall. Star Tribune

You’re driving back to the Twin Cities from grandma's when the call of nature arises somewhere from your midsection. You have one question on your mind: “Where can I find a bathroom that at least's been cleaned since the Bush administration?"

GasBuddy, a gas station review app, now has the answer.

Analyst Frank Beard (no relation to the drummer for ZZ Top) looked into the depths of the app’s millions of restroom reviews written since 2016. Customers rate the overall restroom experience on a five-star scale. From this data emerged Minnesota’s champ: Kwik Trip.

That’s actually a big deal. In a GasBuddy survey, 37 percent of respondents said one of their worst fears when road tripping is not finding a clean bathroom.

“This is an issue that stresses people out,” Beard says.

Stores with the best bathrooms enjoy 33 percent more foot traffic. If too many people aim their urine like a Syrian defense missile, it can break you. People are uninclined to purchase an egg salad sandwich if they just walked out of a war zone. 

Kwik Trip’s PR director John McHugh says the company’s bathroom success is built on a promise to its customers. Literally.

For 20 years, there has been a “pledge” posted in every Kwik Trip bathroom that they will always be clean. If they aren’t, you’ll find the phone number of Don Zietlow -- who owns Kwik Trip.

Kwik Trip has Minnesota’s heart, but nationally, the highest-rated gas station was Buc-ee’s, a Texas chain which includes a 67,000 square-foot mecca in New Braunfels, Texas. Beard says they have hand sanitizer in every bathroom stall, like some kind of a hygienic promised land. It’s “probably” his favorite.

And the bathroom restroom that won the most states? QuikTrip. That’s not a typo. QuikTrip is a totally different gas station based in Oklahoma, and it swept seven states for best bathroom.

Unfortunately, Beard wouldn’t reveal the answer to our most pressing question: Who has the worst bathrooms in Minnesota. You’re just going to have to find out on your own.