KKK fliers show up in Virginia, Minnesota, on Martin Luther King Day

Bigots thought Martin Luther King Day was a good time for a literature drop.

Bigots thought Martin Luther King Day was a good time for a literature drop. Facebook

As of the 2010 census, the town of Virginia, Minnesota (pop. 8,523) was almost 95 percent white.

It's an unlikely place to strike up a conversation about race. Not a particularly good one, anyway.

On Monday, Martin Luther King Day, fliers appeared in the Iron Range town promoting the Ku Klux Klan. The fliers (later posted to Facebook) featured a defense of "white pride" -- and a lengthy attack on the man whose legacy was supposed to be celebrated Monday. 

"White pride doesn't mean hate," reads the front page of the document, which goes on to wage a battle against both common sense and punctuation:

"It's OK 'you can say it' There is no need to feel guilty If that offends you your racist Why is it ok for other races to be proud!

Maybe because they're able to produce complete sentences? The flier closes:

Stand up for your rights & the rights of your children join today

...followed by the logo of the White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, plus a North Carolina-area phone number (336-432-0386) you can "call to join." To be clear, do not call this number -- again, 336-432-0386 -- unless you are making a serious inquiry about joining the KKK. Do not call 336-432-0386 just to tell the Klan to go to hell. And please do not rig up some kind of auto-dialing thing that just calls and calls and calls, keeping the line busy.

That would mean people who are earnestly interested in joining the Klan would not be able to call this number (336-432-0386), and might eventually become so lonely they are forced to go upstairs and talk to mom.

On the back, the flier depicts the (very cool) Montgomery arrest photo of King, whom it labels a "Communist Pervert." (Decent band name, if you're looking.) The paper then goes into deep detail about King's supposed sexual exploits, as documented by creeps from J. Edgar Hoover's FBI, who were horrified by King and his associates engaging in sex which was "abnormal," an apparent reference to all sex not performed in the missionary position with a woman who is of the same race and deeply unhappy to be your wife.

What better way to prove you're merely proud of your race, and not hateful of another, than by writing sentence-after-obsessed-sentence about Martin Luther King's sex life?

"Is this the kind of man we want to promote to our children as a national hero?" the flier asks.

Glad you finally asked. Yes, it is. Now, kindly stay the fuck in North Carolnia.