Jonathan Swift on MPR/LRT
The funny Irish dude chimes in on the MPR/LRT/WCAL fight. And while the only Irish related creation CP regularly intakes is Guinness, this essay is sorta funny. It's also full of big sounding words. That Jonathan Swift, back from the dead and still a freaking craftsman.
OK. OK. So it's not really Johnny Swift. The dude died way back. The essay was sent to CP fromSaveWCAL
attorney Michael W. McNabb. It's aptly titled, A Modest Proposal:
It is a melancholy object to those who travel through this great Klingdom to contemplate the loss of the Minnesota Public Radio broadcast center. The imminent danger is the construction of the Light Rail Transit line hardly more than an arm's length from that magnificent palace built with public financing.
The proposed construction has caused MPR, that eternally grateful recipient of corporate welfare, to threaten to "sue in inverse condemnation to recover the value of its $100+ million Broadcast Center plus relocation costs and related fees."
I think that it is agreed by all parties that it would be a calamity for the good citizens of this Klingdom to be deprived of hearing the same marches, overtures, and waltzes played ad nauseam over the public airways. And all parties further agree that it would be far less of a burden on the public treasury to allow MPR to extort an additional $100+ million than it would be to move the route of the LRT at this late date.
"Klingdom" is kinda funny as an acro-pun. (Though if CP were to pick a nickname for APM we'd humbly suggest something with a retro-kick, like the "Klingon Empire." It's just the fanboy in us talking.) But back to the Swiftian essay. It asks if MPR would mind a relocation to the Skitfter building on St. Olaf's campus in Northfield. Then follows it up with:
But my intention is far from being confined to provide only for the relocation of the MPR broadcast center. It is of a much greater extent--to provide for a tranquil setting "far from the madding crowd's ignoble strife" in which His Majesty may contemplate the next victim of his insatiable desire to expand his empire.
Surely the Regents would consider an offer from MPR of its $100+ million condemnation award to be more than generous for the purchase of the entire campus of St. Olaf College. Then the MPR logo may replace the cross on the top of Boe Chapel, and a dollar sign in gold may be placed on the altar.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.
- Glenville kids have been harassing an elderly woman for decades
Sat., Oct. 17, 12:00am
Sun., Oct. 18, 12:00pm
Fri., Oct. 23, 7:00pm
Sat., Oct. 24, 7:00pm
- Black Lives Matter races cops to the Twin Cities Marathon, protests peacefully
- Michael Casey's "You Matter" movement turns depression to positivity