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John Medeiros, Amy Koch gay apology author, answers his critics

John Medeiros -- who sarcastically apologized on behalf of the gay community to former Minnesota Senate Majority Amy Koch for ruining her traditional marriage and causing her to cheat with a subordinate staffer -- has written another letter revealing his intentions and answering his critics.

"First and foremost, my letter is a piece of satire," Medeiros explains for the humor-impaired. "I used the exact same arguments and the exact same language that have been used against the GLBT community since the marriage debate started."

Since the gay apology to Amy Koch was published last Thursday, it has gone, in the words of one Daily Kos diarist, "deliriously viral." It has been picked up by everyone from Gawker to the New York Daily News, and most recently appeared on Comedy Central.

Along the way, the gay apology has accumulated quite a few comments -- more than 1,170 at last count, as well as over 87,000 Likes on Facebook. While most of the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, there have been a few naysayers who questioned Medeiros.

Does he really have a right to speak for the entire GLBT community? they asked. Isn't it mean-spirited to kick Koch while she's down?

To quiet the critics, Medeiros has written another letter explaining his motives. We've also included an "About the Author" photo so the audience can see what he looks like.

Read the full response to critics on Page 2
 

As the author of the open letter of apology to Amy Koch that was printed on the City Pages' blog on December 22, I feel as though there are a few things I need to clarify in light of the comments that have been posted.

First and foremost, my letter is a piece of satire.  This means that I am using irony to expose the foibles of others.  It is also a piece of sarcasm, which means I am using irony to express my own disdain.  I realize there are those on both sides of the political fence that may not understand this, so let me put it another way: I was clearly not speaking for every single member of the GLBT community when I wrote it.  While it is true that I've received overwhelming support from the GLBT community since the letter was published, the reality is that I simply did not have enough time to gather the consent of every queer person in Minnesota before sending it.  Put another way, satire is important to dialogue.


Second, while it appears that my "apology" is a direct attack to undermine Ms. Koch's own public apology, it was not.  In fact, I sent my letter to the City Pages the day before Ms. Koch made her apology; it just happened to be published after hers.  My letter was a response to her hypocritical behavior, not a response to her apology.

And third, to those few who have called my letter mean-spirited, I would like to offer a bit of relevant background.  In order to craft my letter, I needed to understand the reasons why others believe same-sex marriage threatens traditional marriage.  In my quest for this knowledge, I consulted three very popular conservative websites.  I even printed out a brochure of "talking points" for why gays and lesbians should not be allowed to marry.  I used the exact same arguments and the exact same language that have been used against the GLBT community since the marriage debate started.  If people find the arguments and the language mean-spirited, I ask them to consider where they originated.



Similarly, my letter has also been called (again by a very small few) a kick to someone already down.  If we want to use that image, consider the following. Minnesota law already bans same-sex marriage.  It also bans recognition of such marriages performed in other states.  In this respect, GLBT Minnesotans are already "down."  Add to that an unnecessary Constitutional amendment to codify such discrimination, and you've got the "kick" we've been feeling ever since the amendment bill was passed.  Such an amendment does nothing but add salt to an already unforgivable wound, so if we want to engage in a (thoughtful) dialogue about who's doing the kicking and who's doing the falling, let's start here.  If anything, my letter was an act of self-defense.


And finally, speaking of advancing the dialogue, I, personally, think it is beautiful that this letter has gone viral.  Thank you, City Pages, for making these discussions possible.  And thank you, Governor Dayton, for calling on the GOP to abandon the Constitutional amendment.


John Medeiros
Minneapolis MN

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