Joe Przybilla's grandma is pissed


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Remember the Vanilla Gorilla, the 7'1 center from Monticello? He's still playing in the NBA for the Blazers, doing an admirable stand-in for Greg Oden, a man CP hopes will age like Benjamin Button. But he recently had trouble on the courts. The Gorilla flailed his arm a little too much and the NBA responded with a $7,500 fine. And that pissed off his grandma.

From the Oregonian:

*Remember the movie "Shawshank Redemption", where Andy Dufresne wrote a letter every week to the state to get books for the prison library? Well, the same concept is underway with the grandmother of Blazers center Joel Przybilla. The octogenarian plans to write NBA commissioner David Stern a series of letters complaining about the $7,500 fine Przybilla received for his part in an altercation with New Orleans center Tyson Chandler on Friday. Chandler was ejected and suspended a game for throwing a punch. Przybilla said he was stunned at the fine, but was handling it better than his grandmother.

"She said she is going to keep writing Stern until she hears back from him,'' Przybilla said smiling. "And believe me, she will.''

CP wasn't able to contact Grandma Gorilla. But since CP's mom is a Drongowski we imagine the letters go something like this:

Dear David-

This is Grandma Przybilla again, and yes, I'm still pissed. Why must you punish my little gorilla? He is a very sensitive boy--I caught him using moisturizer once. So why do you feel the need to pick on him? You still miffed at my people calling out your people out way back when!? Look, we're sorry about it. But how you think it feels being Polish? Bad. That's how it feels. David, I once thought there could never be a man worse than Don Rickles, but that $7,500 fine you dumped on my boy was just mean. Please take it back.

And what's more... my husband locked his keys inside the car yesterday. It took a coat hanger and all night to get me out.


Grandma Gorilla