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Jeff Johnson and his dad jeans are running for governor [VIDEO]

Jeff Johnson's jeans will turn any happenin' party into a dull speech.

Jeff Johnson's jeans will turn any happenin' party into a dull speech.

 Don't let Jeff Johnson anywhere near your party.

Below, witness the Hennepin County Commissioner (and 2014 Republican candidate for governor of Minnesota) make an abrupt entrance into a soiree in full swing. 

All the cool cats are there: "Met Council," "MNsure," and "Government Unions" (a woman with a pearl necklace), and "Light Rail," whose mustache looks straight out of vaudeville. 

They are dining on the finest communist revolutionary foods -- caviar, "hot tofu sliders," "seaweed bean curd wraps" -- sip champagne, and laugh gaily to the sounds of a swingin' big-band cover of "We're In the Money."  

This is what conservatives think it looks like when liberals party. 

This one's supposedly taking place at the governor's mansion in St. Paul, currently occupied by Mark Dayton, who beat Johnson 50 percent to 44 percent three years ago. But if Johnson has his way, the phonograph (phonograph?) stops soon! 

For, behold, as Jeff Johnson strides confidently into the party, dad jeans and all, to give a rousing speech about ... property taxes. And insurance premiums. Also mentioned: Traffic, school choice, the Met Council, tax cuts, and "Minnesota's own swamp of cronyism and political favors."

It's mainstream Republican boilerplate fare, which Johnson delivers to a growing crowd of similarly under-dressed folks who've sneaked in behind him.

"Security!" you want to scream, in between bites of seaweed bean curd wrap. "Get these be-flanneled ruffians out of here!" 

But no. They all just stand around while some guy with his shirt tucked into his jeans talks blandly about property taxes. This is what liberals think it looks like when conservatives party.

Anyway, as of this morning, Jeff Johnson's running for governor again. At least he's not sticking up for Nazis

He's all yours if you want him, Republican Party of Minnesota. Pay no mind to the fact he just showed how good he is at ruining parties.