Jared Allen's hands tied by NFL for calf roping
The National Football League is not, we repeat not, fast off the line.
It took them seven years to finally muster the gumption to tell the Vikings' Jared Allen he can't do his famous calf-roping dance after knocking down opposing quarterbacks -- something he's done 73 times.
The league didn't even want to tell the All-Pro defensive end the bad news to his face. Wimping out instead with a call to his coach.
"It was Friday before the [Detroiot] game," Brad Childress told the press on Monday. "Somebody must have called it to somebody's attention, but it has been going on for a long time and everybody was certainly aware of it when we started this season."
The rule in question: Players can't engage in celebrations while on the ground. Flout the rule and it's a 15-yard penalty accompanied by a hit on the wallet.
"I wouldn't be too mad," Allen told reporters. "But it's the 15 yards that really get you. It's the penalty. The fine? I'll eat the money."
And he offered a better solution: "I'm going to carry some cardboard with me and just slide it underneath my knee."
We say, give the cowboy a little rope.
Here's a patented Allen sack dance, for the uninitiated:
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss City Pages' biggest stories.