Minnesota's first winter snowstorm of 2016 is upon us.
Well, not us. Not if you live in the Twin Cities metro. Not yet.
Western, northern and southern Minnesota are expected to get battered on Friday with a big angry storm delivering first rain, in many areas, and then heavy snow. Just in case people thought about getting out and driving ever again.
The National Weather Service (NWS) Twin Cities issued its latest warning around 4:30 a.m. this morning (go to bed, NWS, you're drunk) and kept its focus on west and central Minnesota. Winds and rain will come first. (Maybe you'd noticed?)
Then the deluge.
As with all NWS weather warnings, the all caps has the effect of feeling like you're being yelled again. Then again, people, A STORM'S A-COMIN'.
SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 6 TO 12 INCHES ARE EXPECTED WEST OF A LINE FROM REDWOOD FALLS TO ST CLOUD AND LAKE MILLE LACS WITH THE HEAVIEST AMOUNTS OVER DOUGLAS...TODD...AND MORRISON COUNTIES. AMOUNTS WILL TAPER OFF QUICKLY TO THE EAST...
WITH 1 TO 3 INCHES EXPECTED IN EASTERN PARTS OF THE ADVISORY AREA INCLUDING THE TWIN CITIES METRO.
"1 to 3!" We can do this. Where'd we put our coat?
MPR's Paul Huttner notes that forecast models have been "remarkably consistent" showing a storm that seems to go out of its way to spare the metro. Western Minnesota will get crushed with up to a foot of snow. Northern Minnesota will, too. Central Minnesota's looking at half a foot.
Here, we might have trouble gathering up a snowball's worth in our whole yard.
Alternative theory not based on climatology: The snowstorm is splitting up, sending some parts north and some south, so as to surround Minneapolis and St. Paul before converging on us from all sides.
The Star Tribune points out everyone's going to get this same, hellish wind, all day, with gusts up to 50 mph. Snow won't reach the metro area until this afternoon, just in time to ruin the drive from your office to whichever watering hole you choose to fortify yourself against the damn wind.
Let's kick it to unofficial City Pages weatherman Frankie MacDonald, the beloved young Canadian amateur meteorolgist, who put out his report of "massive blizzard" for Minnesota yesterday. Frankie warns of snow-covered highways in "dozens" of towns west and north of the metro. Reconsider your cabin travel plans.
Reconsider all your plans.
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- Acme manager Sarah Drew reflects on an awesomely odd blizzard show and the worst audience ever
- Garry Kontz found dead after his car gets stuck in blizzard