From the department of things we hope will never be fully explained
Shortly before 2:00 a.m. last Wednesday, as final results trickled in from Ohio and it became clear that George W. Bush had won, someone using a computer terminal at the secretary of state's office signed onto Yahoo and, under the name old_metalhed, posted a series of sneering comments on City Pages' live election blog. "Well, Bush won, Kiffmeyer [sic] system is successful, and Republicans retain control in Minnesota. Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it City Pages!" read the first. "Oooops! Go home and get high," the second advised, "that will take away the pain!"
Whether our correspondent knew that blogware would record his or her location, we don't know. Nor do we know who old_metalhed might be. Our efforts to figure it out did, however, yield one clue: An "old_metalhed from St. Paul" was among the first to sign on to Amazon.com to review Prophecy, the fourth album from "Brazilian death-thrash outfit" Soulfly, headed by former Sepultura frontman Max Calavera. According to a review in the Winnipeg Sun, Prophecy "gives a whole new meaning to the term Bible thumping." The Sun reviewer pronounced it Calavera's "most spiritual album to date," dedicated "to God and emphasizes his faith on tracks like 'I Believe' and 'Moses.'" Other tracks include "Living Sacrifice," "Execution Style," and "Born Again Anarchist." Other Amazon reviewers complained about Calavera's "same dumb pseudo-spiritual stuff," but old_metalhed gave the album four stars. Amen.
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