BEST LITTLE CRACKHOUSE IN PHILLY (...OR CRACKWHORE: THE MUSICAL!)
City Pages: Tell us about your show in 12 words or less.
Stan Peal: Crackwhores sing and dance their way into your heart, inducing a coronary.
CP: Best Little Crackhouse in Philly. Annual award? Lifetime achievement honor?
Peal: The title song qualifies it as merely best "for the price range," which is actually pretty low. (They give out $10 hand jobs like candy corn.)
CP: Winning New York's Bad Musicals Festival: career pinnacle, or can one delve even lower?
Peal: I don't think it can get any lower. Though Richard Pryor Jr. was in one of the productions—that was supposed to provide some cred. No offense to the offspring of the Master, but the current cast is far and away the best. It could theoretically win an award as a good musical this time, as long as good taste is not a factor.
Ferrari McSpeedy Theatrical Productions
City Pages: Your show in 12 words or less—lay it on us.
Joe Bozic: "Comedy Go!" is 45 minutes of unbridled improvisation. And swearing.
CP: It's been years since you've done the Fringe. Detail your momentous personal growth since then.
Bozic: In the five years since our last Fringe, we have grown beards. Also, Mike [Fotis] has become his own Fringe powerhouse with The Importance of Being Fotis, and Joe [Bozic] has become a dad. Moreover, we have learned that we'd rather offer five unique shows during Fringe instead of just doing the same scripted piece over and over again. Advantage: audience!
CP: Ferrari McSpeedy is a provocative name. Do you thirst for high-speed thrills?
Bozic: Ferrari McSpeedy is all about high-speed thrills. And getting loads of Facebook fans from Saudi Arabia. And getting cease-and-desist orders from car manufacturers. And swearing.
THE CURSE OF YIG
City Pages: Your show, 12 words or less. Go.
Tim Uren: Creature locked in Guthrie asylum because pioneers were tortured by snake god.
CP: Is the "horror unimaginable" in your show endemic to Oklahoma, or something more sinister?
Uren: Far more sinister. This nightmare might threaten Arizona. There is the potential for some spooky moments in Texas, even. Kansas for sure. Oh yes, Kansas should definitely be nervous.
CP: If H.P. Lovecraft took a stroll on a summer day along Lake Calhoun, would multi-tentacled, inter-dimensional creatures begin devouring sunbathers? Discuss.
Uren: On the contrary, the sunbathers would realize they all had vaguely fish-like features, and come to the sanity-blasting realization they were descended from strange creatures that had crawled out of Lake Calhoun: the Shallow Ones.
Meg DiSciorio and Damon Runnals
FULL FRONTAL IMPROV
City Pages: Give us the gist of your show in a dozen words or less.
Meg DiSciorio and Damon Runnals: No bars hold, wacky, wild romp of improvisation and drinking.
CP: "Become the star of our show." Hmm...aren't you supposed to be the one doing all the work?
DiSciorio and Runnals: Like Hollywood, the "star" does very little work; it is the supporting cast that makes them shine.
CP: "Embarrassing and awkward." Examples?
DiSciorio and Runnals: Your prom (embarrassing), your divorce (awkward), your early childhood (embarrassing and awkward).
City Pages: You have a dozen words or less to describe your show. Begin.
Heidi Arnseson: One woman possessed by 32 characters in their most embarrassing moments.
CP: What is the future of mating on a plastic planet?
Arnseson: Fully loaded, fully charged, double creme filled, double cash back, double Nutter Buttered, ANGEL SOFT and MULITPURPOSE Ziploc the Handi-Wrap. I-Touch! You-Touch! I-Touch! You-Touch! Squeeze here! Follow the dotted line! Soft scrub! Day-glo! Semi-sweet! Tap to continue....
CP: Which character in GRRL! is most like Heidi?
Arnseson: This is a multiple-choice answer...depends upon my mood:
a) Girl with the whip
b) Bare-naked dancing boy
c) Kindergartener allergic to everything
d) Ancient teacher who loves words with such passion she breaks into tap dance
e) Multi-orgasmic fourth-grade teacher
f) Handsome prince
g) Broken-hearted drunk
h) Homeless man
i) Last human alive on Earth
j) All of the above
Sara Stevenson Scrimshaw
MANSION OF DUST
City Pages: I dare you to describe your show in 12 words or less.
Sara Stevenson Scrimshaw: European dusters in a haunted house. Like Luigi's Mansion, but better.
CP: Filth vs. order. Who wins out?
Scrimshaw: Order beats filth. That said, I can't see the floor of my office under all the scripts, costumes, and props.
CP: Suppose one finds oneself in a mansion of dust. What to do?
Scrimshaw: Dance. Squabble. Clean. Possibly fall in love. Repeat as necessary.
MY BODY MADE ME DO THIS
Third Rabbit Dance Ensemble
City Pages: Describe your show in 12 words or less. Articles and prepositions count.
John Munger: Eight dances ranging from hot jazz to lyrical modern. Goofiness, too.
CP: "Hot-flash rhinos in tutus." Explain.
Munger: One piece, entitled "Hippo: The Ballet" features doggerel verse at animals by Hilaire Belloc and a cast of 12 ranging in age from college students to over 60. Thus the rhinos. Thus the tutus. Thus the hot flashes. There are also polar bears, frogs, yaks, and, of course, hippos.
CP: You promised cake. Will you come through?
John Munger: 'Fraid not on the cake. We were going to do a piece that had a cake in it, but the piece never got off the ground.
RUMSPRINGA THE MUSICAL
Best Weird Dog
City Pages: Tell us about your show in 12 words or less.
Jake Scott: Amish girl falls in love with robot. With songs.
CP: An Amish girl and a robot fall in love. Why?
Scott: Women always fall for the bad boy, and for an Amish woman the ultimate bad boy is a robot. It's the forbidden fruit, how can she resist? Plus, a robot can pleasure a woman in ways no man can.
CP: What are the odds that they will be able to legally marry?
Scott: Proponents are hopeful. There's a pretty strong push for legalizing robot marriage right now. We're doing our part for robot rights with Rumspringa the Musical, which is actually just a bunch of pro-robot propaganda disguised as a musical comedy.
Walking Shadow Theatre Company
City Pages: Your first challenge: Describe your show in 12 words or less.
Amy Rummenie: An exceptional soldier finds his shortest foe to be his biggest competition.
CP: How often, in real life, do penguins participate in elite military training?
Rummenie: As far as we can tell, they don't. But with both Russia and the United States using military dolphins, we think it's only a matter of time. The real inspiration comes from the story of Colonel-in-Chief Sir Nils Olav, a king penguin from the Edinburgh Zoo, who has been repeatedly promoted within the Norwegian King's Guard. We ran with the idea that he was not just a mascot but an honest soldier trying to forge his own path while still maintaining his penguin identity.
CP: How much inspiration have you drawn from March of the Penguins?
Rummenie: Those are emperor penguins, whereas Lt. Falkland is a king penguin. So we watched the film, but took everything with a grain of salt. Happy Feet, on the other hand, was completely useless to us. G.I. Jane was pretty bad, but useful.
Curt Lund and Laura Bidgood
SLOW JOBS: SERVICING AMERICA FOR $12 AN HOUR
What Happened Productions
City Pages: Describe your show in 12 words or less.
Curt Lund and Laura Bidgood: Those who can, do. Those who can't, they're probably your boss.
CP: Creepy co-workers. Any standouts?
Lund: You're not using our last names on this, are you? So I can speak freely and openly, right? Good. To be honest, just between you and me, I think that everyone I have ever worked with has been kind of creepy, and much like trying to pick a favorite Jonas Brother, it would be really hard to select a standout.
CP: What's your moment that most epitomizes underemployment?
Bidgood: Underemployment? Who have you been talking to from my office? Was it Kathy? Rick? I bet it was Mary. Well, you should know better than to listen to what she says. It's all gossip with that one. I am always very busy at work. I never have time to surf the internet or take naps at my desk, and I certainly didn't write this show on my lunch breaks.