Edina drunk driver refuses to put down burrito, offers bribe, blows .284, flips bird during mug

Waters and his beloved burrito allegedly went on a drunk-driving misadventure last month in Edina.
Waters and his beloved burrito allegedly went on a drunk-driving misadventure last month in Edina.

According to Edina police, Samuel Waters, 22, went on a burrito- and booze-fueled drunk-driving misadventure on June 27 that involved a hit-and-run and a full-blown fiasco in the police department's jail cell.

At just before 9 p.m. that night, police received a report of someone driving over curbs and flinging beer cans out of a car window near Edina's Galleria. The license plate number of the car was traced to a woman who lives in the 6800 block of Chapel Lane. As an officer approached the home, he witnessed a driver botch a right turn onto Chapel Lane by driving up and over a curb. The officer turned on his squad's emergency lights, and the suspect pulled over in a driveway ... but the wackiness was just beginning.

As the officer approached the car, he noticed the suspect--who turned out to be Waters--had all the hallmarks of a drunk-driver: bloodshot, watery eyes, the aroma of booze emanating from his vehicle. He was chowing a burrito from a nearby fast-food restaurant but wasn't doing a very good job of it, as most of it had spilled on his pants, the criminal complaint notes.

The officer asked Water to put down the Mexican food, but he wasn't having it--he refused and continued to spill the burrito on his lap.

Waters, slurring his words, asked the officer "numerous times" how much money it'd take to make the situation "go away." He ended up offering $1,000 for permission to go inside his house and get some sleep, but the officer declined the offer.

Asked if he'd been drinking, Waters confessed that he'd had a few earlier at a restaurant in the Galleria. The officer then asked him to submit to a field sobriety test.

It's hard to drive and eat one of these while sober, let alone when you're at a .284.
It's hard to drive and eat one of these while sober, let alone when you're at a .284.

Waters wasn't able to convincingly mimic sobriety during the test. Perhaps sensing it wasn't going well, Edina Patch reports that Waters told the officer, "You [expletive] win, dude, I'm drunk." He then provided a breath sample ... and blew a .284, well over three times the legal limit.

But there's more. A dispatcher told the officer that the car Waters was driving was apparently involved in a hit-and-run collision near the intersection of Valley View and Antrim Roads. A driver who had been rear-ended at the intersection told cops that he stopped his car and asked Waters what he was doing, but "he couldn't understand his reply because his mouth was full of a burrito that he was eating." Must've been an extra-large one!

Waters was finally hauled to the Edina Police Department, but the shit-show wasn't through yet. He urinated in his cell and was found lying on the floor next to a puddle. Then, when it came time to snap a mugshot, Waters held up both hands and flipped the bird to the camera.

Waters posted $12,000 bond and is free until his next court appearance, scheduled for July 26. Last week, he was charged with two gross misdemeanors--refusing to submit to a urine test while in jail and third-degree driving while intoxicated, each of which carries a maximum penalty of a year in jail and a $3,000 fine.

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