Eco Terrorists

Ward Sutton

Physical Characteristics: Gaunt and bushy-haired, usually wearing Chaco sandals and flannel.

Natural Habitat: In the redwood forest, living in a tree house; you'll smell him from two miles downwind.

Personal Disposition: Childish.

Evolutionary Purpose: To throw a monkey wrench at progress.

Place on the Food Chain: Lowest rung. These fifth-level vegans won't eat anything with a shadow.

Feeding Behavior: Subsist on bean curds.

Mating Call: "Hayduke lives, man. Hayduke lives!"

Weapon of Choice: Their ability to chain themselves to stuff.

Your Best Defense: A shield made of live bunnies.

Danger Level: Moderate to high. This might be a good week to leave the SUV in the garage.


Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >