Children in Duluth no longer have to live under the threat of their parents naming them "Google Fiber," because the giant web search company has decided to award its much-ballyhooed fibre optic broadband internet project to -- drum roll please -- Kansas City.
Bummer for Duluth, though, which posted a series of goofball videos aimed at trying to earn Google's love. At least we have the memories. Here's the one where a fake mayor -- with the corniest Up North accent you ever heard -- offering to re-brand the local kids.[jump]
Here's Sen. Franken, "Duluth Answer Man."
And here's part of the Google announcement (which devoid of any humor at all):
As part of our overall goal to make the web better for users, last year we announced a new project: to provide a community with Internet access more than 100 times faster than what most Americans have today. The response was overwhelming--nearly 1,100 cities felt the need for speed--and we were thrilled by the enthusiasm we saw across the country for better and faster web connections. Thank you to every community and individual that submitted a response, joined a rally, starred in a YouTube video or otherwise participated.
After a careful review, today we're very happy to announce that we will build our ultra high-speed network in Kansas City, Kansas. We've signed a development agreement with the city, and we'll be working closely with local organizations, businesses and universities to bring a next-generation web experience to the community.
Apparently, Google wasn't swayed by nearby Topeka's PR blitz either, which included renaming their city "Google, Kansas" (for a little while, anyway).
Congrats, KC. Let us know how fast the porn downloads (and whether your hard drives show up on Google Maps street view).