Duluth loses Google broadband bid to Kansas City

The search is over.

The search is over.

Children in Duluth no longer have to live under the threat of their parents naming them "Google Fiber," because the giant web search company has decided to award its much-ballyhooed fibre optic broadband internet project to -- drum roll please -- Kansas City.

Bummer for Duluth, though, which posted a series of goofball videos aimed at trying to earn Google's love. At least we have the memories. Here's the one where a fake mayor -- with the corniest Up North accent you ever heard -- offering to re-brand the local kids.


Here's Sen. Franken, "Duluth Answer Man."

And here's part of the Google announcement (which devoid of any humor at all):

As part of our overall goal to make the web better for users, last year we announced a new project: to provide a community with Internet access more than 100 times faster than what most Americans have today. The response was overwhelming--nearly 1,100 cities felt the need for speed--and we were thrilled by the enthusiasm we saw across the country for better and faster web connections. Thank you to every community and individual that submitted a response, joined a rally, starred in a YouTube video or otherwise participated.

After a careful review, today we're very happy to announce that we will build our ultra high-speed network in Kansas City, Kansas. We've signed a development agreement with the city, and we'll be working closely with local organizations, businesses and universities to bring a next-generation web experience to the community.

Apparently, Google wasn't swayed by nearby Topeka's PR blitz either, which included renaming their city "Google, Kansas" (for a little while, anyway).

Congrats, KC. Let us know how fast the porn downloads (and whether your hard drives show up on Google Maps street view).