Dueling headlines during economic misery

Probably the most disconcerting thing about these weird times is the fuck-if-I-know stench of uncertainty that lingers around even the most weathered of "experts."

This morning's economy-related headlines certainly didn't provide much in terms of clarity.

Regarding Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke's most recent smoke-blowing, The Washington Post offered an optimistic tone ("Recession Could End This Year, Fed Chief Says"). Meanwhile, CNN provided a more somber, almost ominous, assessment ("Bernanke: Recovery Will Take Years").

To be fair, the stories' bodies/substance are generally in accord (we're in for a long hurtin', but we might recover sooner if--and only if--we grant the financial industrial complex more money/power). But the blatantly contradictory headlines made us spit out our coffee and shout, "What's next?" to everyone and no one in particular. Set your coffee aside and take a gander.

"Recession Could End This Year, Fed Chief Says"

"Bernanke: Recovery Will Take Years"

Of tangential interest to bullshit connoisseurs: