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Drunk, naked lady kicked out of Boundary Waters for some reason

Ah, nature.

Ah, nature. Dennis Anderson, Star Tribune

A woman who was probably having more fun than any of us was escorted out of Minnesota’s pristine, federally protected wilderness, the Boundary Waters, on Friday, after law enforcement allegedly found her drunk, disorderly, and nude.

According to the Duluth News Tribune, the U.S. Forest Service, a Minnesota Department of Natural Resources conservation officer, and the Lake County Sheriff’s department responded to reports of a drunken naked lady hanging out just northeast of Ely.

They boated into the lake and found her around 6 p.m. The Lake County Sheriff’s Office didn’t respond to interview requests, but an incident report said she had either already consumed some edibles or planned to. Clearly, she'd had her own ideas about where the evening was headed, and this wasn't it.

She was issued a citation by the Forest Service and escorted back to a boat landing just outside the Boundary Waters. Forest Service officials refused to tell the News Tribune anything more about it.

She wouldn’t have been the first person to decide to enjoy Minnesota’s natural beauty au naturel. Last year, a man was charged with indecent exposure in Otter Tail County for fishing bare-ass naked off his pontoon. A resident called the police after getting a full view of the angler from their picture window, which was apparently working as advertised.

Earlier this summer, topless sunbathers lounging on Twin Lake were interrupted by a police drone whirring overhead, surveilling for nudity. Officers arrived to collect information from people spotted in a state of mild undress shortly afterward.

State statute dictates that “willfully and lewdly” exposing your “body, or the private parts thereof” in a public place is misdemeanor material. Women who are breastfeeding are explicitly excluded from culpability.

For its part, Minneapolis recently repealed a park ordinance explicitly stating showing one’s breasts – in ways lewd, lascivious, or otherwise – was punishable by law after residents pointed out that all it did was dictate that some people were allowed to go shirtless, and others weren’t.

The Boundary Waters, meanwhile, are living up to that name when it comes to nudity.