Back when America was great, airplanes had sections reserved for smoking delicious American-made tobacco products, complete with tiny ashtrays built into the seats. This was also a time when when airlines advertised free champagne flights, even for the peasantry in steerage.
But it hasn't been legal to smoke aboard planes in 19 years. Which brings us to a Spirit flight headed to Minneapolis last week.
An unnamed passenger boarded the 8:30 a.m. flight already hammered, according to witnesses. We're guessing he doesn't like to fly, or was simply taking the ordinary precautions for flying Spirit, which promises the lowest fares exchange for the maximum discomfort.
Motto: “This is going to be painful.”
An unnamed seatmate says the man spent most of the flight alternating between sleeping and loud outbursts. But with about 40 minutes left, he decided to support American tobacco growers by lighting a delectable cig. His seatmate starting filming.
The footage shows the man firing up a cig, taking a satisfying drag, then promptly falling back asleep. While this is a preferred method of burning down your house, it is not advised on an airplane, since it mostly involves unwilling participants.
A nearby man summoned a flight attendant, who woke the man to inform him that, no, cig breaks are not allowed midair.
“Oh my God,” the startled smoker replies, finally recognizing the downside of getting hammered before flying.
The remainder of the trip was uneventful, says his seatmate. Until the plane landed. Before the other passengers could depart, police arrived to haul our drunkard off the plane.
Unfortunately, the penalty for smoking while flying runs up to $25,000, making this among the world's most expensive smoke breaks.