President Donald Trump's preferred method of belching toxic waste on the fabric of America is via Twitter.
Previously, we brought you a rundown of the 43 treasonists, weirdos, propagandists, and Trump-branded golf courses that clog his feed (he's since followed Fox News buddies Tucker Carlson and Jesse Watters). In the interest of further delving into digital psyche of Trump, we decided to explore an oft-neglected area of his favorite social network: "likes."
Since joining the platform in 2009, DJT has liked 22 tweets, although only 18 are visable (let's get Robert Mueller on this ASAP). Most highlight his family. Several detail the election against "Crooked Hillary." One involves him liking his own tweet.
Let's rank these suckers before we're swallowed by nuclear ash and/or boiling oceans.
18. Trump's friends at Fox & Friends defend his grandson's hat.
17. Our president hates the "fake news" mainstream media, but he seems to love the Gateway Pundit, an outrageously inaccurate right-wing blog.
16. Oh yeah, aren't we supposed to be building a "big, beautiful" border wall?
15. This one features a choo-choo train emoji. Fun!
It's hard to fight terrorism when you're making cash payments to the world's LARGEST state sponsor of TERROR. Under Trump: NEVER AGAIN! pic.twitter.com/p9XUClEMKX— Official Team Trump (@TeamTrump) October 10, 2016
13-12. Is First Lady Melania among the 55 percent of U.S. voters who dislike her husband? In May, a shade-packed "like" from her personal Twitter account suggested as much. No matter, as the Donald has reaffirmed their healthy marriage twice.
11-9. Daughter Ivanka -- with whom Donald has always shared a ... err ... special affection -- is not surprisingly the most frequent recipient of his Twitter love. Tiffany, the aspiring pop star, and young Barron, the computer wizard, have been largely ignored by their father, mercifully.
I was inspired to visit Sant'Egidio and learn about their remarkable work with survivors of human trafficking and with those still suffering pic.twitter.com/wHGILvwPvO— Ivanka Trump (@IvankaTrump) May 24, 2017
8. Throws VP candidate Mike Pence a bone by acknowledging his existence.
7. Showcasing the hard work and sub-optimal smartphone cameras of his adult sons.
6. Remember when Trump unleashed his birther dogs on Ted Cruz? That was after he did the same to President Barack Obama, but before he suggested Cruz's father helped assassinate JFK. That's all, of course, trivia that will one day be in actual history books. Anyway, in this tweet he links to a now-defunct liberal satire website.
Donald Trump issues statement on Ted Cruz birth certificate http://t.co/8m6DKJI38A— LAR (@Ross_7_7) August 24, 2013
5. An excerpt: "We're gonna start winning, winning, winning ... We're gonna win at every element of what we're doing. We're gonna win with the military, we're gonna win with everything. We're gonna win so much, you're gonna get tired of winning. You're gonna be saying from Buffalo, 'Please, please, Mr. [unintelligible]: We don't want anymore business! We're doing too much business; we're making too much money. No matter what you do, we don't want to win anymore!' And I'm going to say, 'Sorry! We're gonna keep winning. We're gonna win, win win.'"
4. Random woman generically compliments Trump. He thanks her with a manual re-tweet, then promptly likes that re-tweet. In unrelated news, this man has the nuclear codes.
3. Chest Strongwell, noted pseudonymous internet troll, lured the future prez into liking his diss. Mind-boggling.
2. Here we see Trump endorsing the person who loves him most.
1. This one is truly baffling. The tweeter, an essential oils saleswoman from Boston, has 181 followers. Who is this blurry little boy? Why was he Trump's first-ever Twitter "like"? Is he the key to the Russia scandal? God let's hope.
First drivers license pic.twitter.com/HYGpmnig— Debbie Bearce (@drbearce) December 9, 2012