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Craigslist ad seeks help building 'Christian Empire,' with ownership possibilities

This could be you. “Financial contribution not required.”

This could be you. “Financial contribution not required.” YouTube

For the right self-starting follower of Entrepreneurial Jesus, this sounds like a win-win for you – and the planet at large.

Pastor Tim Hutchinson is an author, speaker, and man of the cloth. He's also something of an ecclesiastical superpower, having stopped “six school shootings,” prevented “over 300 teen suicides,” and developed a “bully proof system,” which he made “available to all students nationwide at no cost.”

So he's naturally building a “Christian Empire,” according to his help-wanted ad on Craiglist. And he needs an “entrepreneurial person” to ride shotgun, with “part ownership possible in the future.”

Importantly: “Financial contribution not required.”

There's no contact info, but Hutchinson directs interested parties to his website, where details are said to await. Alas, those details appear to be waiting elsewhere, since essentials like duties, pay, and office location are missing. What applicants do know is that his empire will be built on “undeniable and irrefutable proof” that “God is real.”

“So incredible is the evidence on this website that scientists have been challenged to disprove it, and they CANNOT! Some are literally brought to tears when they read this incredible evidence.”

Unfortunately, this evidence is missing as well. What we do know is that Hutchinson has developed a number of systems, such as his “powerful 10-day prayer system.” The language tends to read a lot like you'd hear at, say, a real estate flipping seminar at the Bloomington Marriott. But building a business off Jesus is a lot more interesting than laying drywall.

How all this will translate into an empire remains to be seen. Apparently Hutchinson doesn't want his breakthrough system to fall into the hands of rival empires, which may not share his altruistic motives. As he notes, the years of research and development “nearly cost Pastor Hutchinson everything, including his very life. The enemy repeatedly tried to destroy him in an effort to keep this from you.”

You have to admit that part ownership in God is a tempting proposition. It must surely be more lucrative than delivering Ultimate Porkers for Jimmy John's, and God likely offers superior benefits, given his well-known thoughts on healing the sick.

At the very least, “Once you follow these (free) instructions, you’ll be able to say, 'Not today, Satan!' with real confidence.”